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Everyone's sex life in 2012
sheets
brit_columbia
Okay, I had to steal this idea from bronze_ribbons.

Pick up the book nearest to you. Turn to page 45. The first sentence there describes your sex life in 2012.

The first time I tried this, my sentence was

"Serving British Columbia, including Vancouver Island & the Gulf Islands."

which is funny enough, although it occurs to me that my alleged sex life in 2012 sounds more than a little exhausting and might not leave me much time for anything else.

But then after chuckling over this for a couple of hours, I tried it again with a different book, and I got THIS quite long sentence, which does rather seem to support the general theme:

"This one had the same thing Nora had, such a total awareness of herself as a woman, such a directed pride in being a desirable woman, that every small fastidiousness was almost ritualistic, from a stone-clean scalp to glossy pedicure, all so scented and cared for that, as is the case with the more celebrated beauties, the grooming itself forms a small barrier against boldness, against unwelcome intrusion."

Oh my. I think I'd better go get a pedicure and try to come up with ways to break this news gently to my husband.

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Yes, but be careful if it's a big one!

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Well, if you want to remain virginal, watch out for princes with horse-like equipment who want to give you riding lessons in 2012!

I'm quite jealous of the one you got, since mine is all about serving and grooming.

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My first book was the local yellow pages phone book and my second book was A Deadly Shade of Gold by John D. MacDonald.

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It does, doesn't it? But I was following instructions carefully. The phone book was the 'book' that was nearest me at that time, since I was at work.

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I know, I know! I really have to stay off LJ at work.

Your grade 11 parenting class? Aren't you glad that no one could read your mind! Or rather, you should hope that no one could read your mind...

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Boy, that sounds like me. I've missed great chunks of my life due to daydreaming, usually about M/M stuff.

"Maybe. I mean, I know I'm not back to a hundred percent, yet."

*squnits* I'm not sure what to think of mine.

Uh oh, sounds like your sex life in 2012 is a big maybe. I think you need to wait a few hours and try again with a different book!

Like I'll end up with some sex related injury. Yikes!

Yikes indeed. I'm sure anyone who's ever worked in a hospital emergency room could write a book about sex related injuries.

Don't let that be you! Pick another book, dammit!

"She didn't cry even when her mom put straight alcohol on it. It bled like crazy."

Okay, I offically don't like this game and I'm never leaving the house again. :(

LOL! That one was a thousand times worse! You are totally scary at this game.

...Curse the shortness of dialog!

"Hours. Maybe three."

...Maybe I should go for second-nearest, as this one was in the desk I'm sitting at. *stares at the stack of three on the nearby chair*
Here goes then: Oh, wait, I forgot textbooks aren't books

"She immediately realized that Fred was no longer wrapped around her arm."

... Not that one.

"On the farm thus acquired John Ferrier built himself a substantial log house, which received so many additions in succeeding years that it grew into a roomy villa."

...Forget it. I'll stick with the first one- The Improbable Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Conan Doyle's collection and Jayne Ann Krentz didn't help a yot.

Hey, I like the first one! And sure textbooks are books. The most expensive kind of books, as a matter of fact. If I used the phone book, you can use a textbook.

*snorts* No, I really couldn't. Theories of Personality is dry enough without using it to fake-predict someone's sex life:

"Throughout his career, Freud often proposed theories without much clinical or experimental evidence to support them."

First one's still better.

Fifth furthest book And the last book in my room at the moment wasn't any better either:

"How did you get here?" - Compass Rose by Ursula K. LeGuin

Long time listener here, first time caller.

I've got "He also had a nasty scar down his face, leaving one empty eye socket and a permanent sneer." I am not a shallow person, but the empty eye socket is going to take some getting used to...I'm very squicky about eye-related things.

Hi, and welcome!

Geez, what a sentence to get about your sex life in 2012. I advise you to turn out the lights and/or keep your eyes closed as much as possible. And make him wear a patch!

At least you didn't get one with your mom in it.

:P I seem to have been a away for a long time, and even so I still have to run off in a moment!

(School has begun again)

I just wanted to pop in for a moment and give you the sentence I got:

"Mother said he was quite right to make me swear, and that it was a sign of his passion."

O_O

Man... Sherlock Holmes has it going on!

:P

Love
Neengy

Well! Dirty talk (from you) and passion (from him). I'd say your sex life in 2012 looks interesting... but for the part about your mother. You're the second person whose mother popped up in the first sentence on page 45. This kind of thing causes Brit's brow to furrow.

I believe that I am also the second person to use Sherlock Holmes as my book... :P Sir Conan Doyle needs to work on his phrasing! :P I have "The Complete Sherlock Holmes" on my shelf...

Let's see what a different books gets me:

"Alive in his swimming pool. Heated the water to boiling point and pushed him in, or something like."

Um... This doesn't look good... one more time?

"How are the senses piqued and sharpened in the total darkness of the woods!"

O_O Sounds... interesting...


Neengy, stop reading right now and quit while you're ahead! I really didn't like the boiling swimming pool. And the total darkness of the woods, while undeniably possessing sex-life potential, just really sounds like a setting for a werewolf to feed, or a serial killer to bury his/her crimes.

Let's just stick with the one with the dirty talk and the passion!

Edited at 2012-01-28 08:07 am (UTC)

Oh dear. I had to take the book written by myself which doesn't contain anything about sex, but just look what I've got:
"Ich wachte auf, weil mir schrecklich heiß war."
In english: "I woke up because I felt so hot."
WTF?! ;D Sounds like sexy dreams! xD Well, could have been worse. I'm looking forward to 2012.

Yes, it certainly does sound like sexy dreams. Or... maybe there will be someone beside you who likes to quietly seduce you in your sleep!

That's another possibility *-* Would be so cool!
By the way, just forgot to mention that I'm KissFromABlackRose at Fanfiction.net. I'm just signed in with my Twitter account right now. :)

Welcome to my LJ! Make yourself at home.

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