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FAKE First Year Together: Justice (June), Chapter 16, part TWO
Dee: What the f*ck are you looking at?
brit_columbia
Here's Part Two of Justice Chapter 16! Worksafe? Hell no.

    
Rapid, heavy footsteps could be heard stomping through the kitchen, and before either of them could think of what to do, Dee was suddenly in the room with them, his face livid. An aura of violence swept in with him and his menacing presence seemed to fill the space between him and the two men on the sofa.

Ryo and Norm instinctively sprang apart. Ryo belatedly remembered that Dee had his own key. But wait a minute, hadn't he made Dee give it to Bikky?

"Ryo, what the hell are you doing?" Dee's voice was loud, the way it always got when he was about to lose his temper. Ryo could see that a significant portion of Dee's anger was directed at him. His partner usually held himself back from directly expressing anger toward Ryo, but not, it seemed, in the last twenty-four hours.

"Dee, it's not what you think," Ryo replied firmly. "Norm was just helping me out by... by explaining a couple of things to me--"


"What things, Ryo? What were these things that you couldn't ask
me? What was so all-fired serious and terrible that you couldn't open your mouth and talk to me about it?"

"Dee, it isn't helping that you're yelling–"

"Answer the damn question, Ryo."


"Um, maybe, I should be going..." Norm ventured.

"Damn right, you should!" Dee's hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar. Before Norm knew where he was, Dee had hauled him across the living room and deposited him on the threshold to the kitchen.

"There's the door," Dee said shortly. "Walk out of here while you can still walk."


"Dee!" shouted Ryo, outraged. "This is MY apartment!"

"You back the fuck off!" Dee yelled back, jabbing his finger at Ryo. "This is between me and weasel-boy here!" He still had hold of Norm's collar, and he slammed him against the kitchen doorframe, right in front of Ryo. "Yo, asshole," he snarled, his face only inches from Norm's. "Lemme make something crystal clear. You come sniffing 'round my man again, you better be prepared to get your ass kicked. You got that?"

It was obvious by the mutinous set of Norm's mouth and the flush that suffused his face and neck that he was getting angry, too. He stared into Dee's blazing eyes for a moment before looking away.


"I understand." He reached up and tugged his collar free from Dee's fist, and straightened his shoulders before walking to the door.

"Norm..." began Ryo.

"He's a big boy, Ryo! He knows the score. You don't have to protect him." Dee tossed this over his shoulder without taking his eyes off his rival.

Norm let himself out without another word, leaving Dee and Ryo alone together.


"You," said Dee, "have got some fucking explaining to do."

Ryo was aware that he did. After all, Dee had walked in on something that looked a whole lot different from what it really was. But he hadn't done anything wrong, and he didn't like Dee's accusing tone. He wondered how much Dee had actually overheard. Had he overheard the part where Ryo said the words, 'I can't have sex with you?' If so, then there was no reason for Dee to be so angry with him.

"Listen," he said firmly, "I am not guilty of whatever you seem to be thinking I've done."


"Oh no? Maybe I missed the opening act, but I know guilt when I see it. The two of you jumping apart, blushing and looking at me like teenagers caught necking by a teacher behind the school!"

"Nobody was necking!" snapped Ryo. "How dare you insinuate that I would do something like that?"


"Ryo, that's what it looked like. You both looked guilty. Not just that sneaking, sly dickwad who thought he could make a move on my lover when my back was turned. You looked guilty, too! What the fuck is up with that? What are you hiding? What the hell would have happened if I hadn't come in just when I did?"

"I'll tell you what would have happened. I would have been able to finish telling him about you– about how much you mean to me, and about how much we both value fidelity." These words of love and commitment sounded strange to Ryo because he had delivered them in an angry and reproachful voice. But he didn't seem to have control over his feelings right then.


Dee looked at him in silence through eyes that were slightly narrowed. His open-necked shirt did nothing to hide the pulse beating rapidly at the base of his throat.


"He didn't get to hear that part," Ryo went on. "I wanted him to hear that part. But you blew in here and started throwing your weight around before I could give him that important piece of information."


Dee looked away and Ryo could see the muscles of his jaw bunching convulsively. "I ain't gonna apologize for that, Ryo. I let that piece of shit off easy." He jammed his clenched fists inside the pockets of his sport coat.


Ryo folded his arms. "Don't you trust me?"


Dee looked back at him in surprise. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out; certainly not the ready confirmation of trust that Ryo was expecting. This pissed Ryo off.

"It's not that I don't trust you," Dee answered after a pause. "It's more that you have a history of being clueless when guys are hitting on you. You wouldn't realize that some bastard was putting the make on you until he had his hands on your ass and his tongue down your throat."


"Oh?" Ryo's voice went cold. "And how many times has that happened?"


When Dee didn't answer, Ryo went on. "Are you talking about the time when I punched out the Commissioner for putting his hands on me? Is that the time you mean? Or are you referring to all the times when it was you stealing kisses from me?"

"Ryo." Dee looked away again and closed his eyes.


"Because those are the only examples I can think of, Dee. And if you're going to base your assessment that I'm clueless on all the times when you hit on me, then you're being unjust." Ryo paused and waited to see if Dee had anything to say, but his partner seemed to be belatedly controlling himself. Upon closer inspection, Ryo realized that Dee was actually quite upset. Under the anger, he was afraid. And hurt.

"Dee," he said softly. "Norm propositioned me, yes. But I said no. Didn't you hear me say no?"


Dee lifted his head and his eyes were still doubtful. "Ryo, did you know this guy was gay and attracted to you before you let him into your apartment and sat him down with a cup of tea?" He gestured to the coffee table and its two abandoned cups.

"Now, that's not fair!" Ryo's folded arms dropped and this time it was he who pointed his finger at Dee.
"Are you saying I should never talk to someone who is gay and/or attracted to me? You spend all your waking hours flirting with women AND men who are clearly attracted to you. You expect me to just accept this about you, too!" He advanced a couple of steps closer to Dee. "Go on, deny it!"

"Ryo, there's a big difference." Dee's voice was hard, and the fact that he was obviously prepared to hold his ground gave Ryo pause. "There's flirting and there's flirting. You were flirting with Norm, Ryo. Whether you wanna admit it or not. If he hadn't felt like he was getting the green light from you on some level, he wouldn't have gone for it like that."


"I was not flirting with him!" Ryo insisted. "I was absolutely not expecting him to... suggest what he suggested." He realized that his fists were clenched and made a conscious effort to unclench them. "Besides, you've seen me flirt. You know I'm not very good at it, so I practically never do it, unlike you! You flirt with just about everything on two legs."

"Yeah, so I'm a flirt. That's me, that's my style. No secrets here." Dee patted his shirt pocket for his cigarettes, and pulled the pack out with a quick, angry motion. "No secrets, Ryo. That's the point."


"What the hell are you talking about?" Ryo still felt angry. Dee evidently suspected that he and Norm had some sort of secret that they were keeping from him. Trust? Hell.


"I flirt a little, but nobody falls in love with me, Ryo. At least not anymore. I have some experience now. When I was younger, though, I played blind. I didn't realize that other people thought I meant more than I really did. Or maybe I did, but I didn't really care. I broke a few hearts and made a few enemies before I finally wised up to what I was doing."

Dee shook out a cigarette and stuck it between his lips. Ryo wondered for a moment what Dee was going to do. He didn't think that his partner would actually light that cigarette in the middle of his living room. He hadn't done that for years. On the other hand, however, Dee was pretty upset. Ryo considered whether he ought to remind him not to smoke in the apartment.


"But you're not really listening, are you, babe?" Dee's left hand shimmied into the pocket of his tight jeans and came back out with his Bic. "As usual."


Stung, Ryo stopped looking at Dee's cigarette. "I'm listening," he said. "And what do you mean 'as usual'?"

"You're the guy with all the secrets lately. You tell me." Dee flicked the Bic and lit his smoke, his snapping green eyes daring Ryo to try to stop him. "Seems like you're willing to listen to just about anyone nowadays, except me."


Ryo was surprised to hear this. Where was this coming from? He always listened to Dee. He had little choice most of the time, since he spent more hours of every week in Dee's company than he did in anyone else's, including his own. There was also the fact that Dee was a guy who liked to talk, particularly when he ought to be working. "Firstly, that is not true," Ryo protested, "and second, I don't appreciate the fact that you're smoking in here. You said you weren't going to do that anymore."


Dee exhaled a lungful of smoke off to one side. "Don't worry," he said and turned away. "I'm leaving." He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a set of keys. "And I'm returning these, since you obviously didn't want me to have them." He tossed them onto the kitchen table and turned to go.


Ryo stared after Dee as he strode to the door. Dee thought he no longer wanted him to have keys to this place? And now he was leaving? But Dee was the one who always wanted to have things out.


Well, fine, thought Ryo shakily. He didn't want to endure a stressful and pointless fight, anyway. He should just let Dee go and then he could have an early night. He watched the door close behind Dee, and felt mildly relieved that his partner hadn't slammed it.

A moment later, however, his feet were rapidly carrying him across the linoleum floor of the kitchen, and he couldn't understand why. Equally mysterious was the fact that his hand pulled the door open and his voice called out to Dee, who was halfway down the stairs. "Don't leave!"


Dee paused and looked up at him warily, his cigarette between his lips. "Why?"


"I..." Ryo gazed at him uncertainly, one hand on the railing of the landing. Why indeed? How to explain? "I– I guess I don't want you to go," he said simply. "Come back, Dee. You can smoke if you need to... just this once, I suppose."

Dee hesitated on the steps, not looking at Ryo. His shoulders and jaw had a rigid set to them. Ryo couldn't help noticing how handsome he was, how desirable. Unexpectedly, the right words came to his mind. "You think I want him, but I don't," he said softly. "You're the only one I want."


Dee dropped the half-smoked cigarette right there on the stairs and ground it out swiftly with the heel of his shoe. Before Ryo could decide what to do next, Dee had come up the stairs in two bounds and was crowding Ryo back through the door of his apartment. Ryo could have stepped back to give him more space, but he didn't want to. He liked Dee crowding him, and thus gave way reluctantly. Dee's chest against his felt hard and hot; he smelled of cologne and cigarette smoke. Ryo lifted a tentative hand to Dee's waist, and sighed in relief when Dee's arms went around him.


"Ryo–"


"Shut up and kiss me, already."

Dee moved back a little, putting his fingers to his lips. "I just had a smoke..."

"I don't care." Ryo reached up and tugged Dee closer by the front of his shirt. He moaned a little when Dee's lips abruptly descended on his.

It was obvious to Ryo that Dee was pulling out all the stops on that kiss. His mobile mouth seared Ryo's hungrily, claiming and demanding. Although Ryo struggled to assert himself within the kiss, he found that he was unable to prevent Dee from taking complete control of the situation. After a heated minute, they broke apart, gasping for breath. Their eyes locked passionately for a moment, and then Dee hauled Ryo back into his arms and nipped at his chin before resuming his highly-skilled subjugation of Ryo's mouth. Ryo moaned low in his throat as he felt Dee's thick tongue slide back into his mouth and press hard against his.

Ryo was dimly aware that the kitchen door still stood wide open behind Dee. He knew he should attempt to disengage from his lover and go and shut it, because the truth was that a neighbor could walk by at any moment and glance in. But on the other hand, his legs were trembling and he was leaning rather heavily against Dee. If he unwrapped his arms from Dee's body, he couldn't trust himself to be able to stay on his feet, not right then, anyway. Dee had a way of kissing him sometimes that had this effect on him. His limbs felt as though they had turned to rubber, and his heart was thumping hard against his ribs. When Dee's mouth trailed along Ryo's jaw and then down to his throat, Ryo heard himself making a very unmanly whimpering noise. His cock was growing in the crotch of the cargo shorts he had quickly thrown on after his shower, and he was unabashedly rubbing its sensitive head against Dee's thigh. Dee chuckled against Ryo's throat before sliding a hand up under his lover's tee-shirt to pinch and roll one of his nipples. That made Ryo jerk in Dee's arms and cry out hoarsely.


"You want me, don't you?" Dee's voice was low and urgent, and he nipped at the side of Ryo's neck. "Say it again, baby. Say you want me."


"I... I want you... to close the door." Ryo's voice was shaky, but his words made Dee laugh breathlessly and call him a bastard. When Dee turned away from him to do as he asked, the abrupt loss of support caused Ryo to lose his balance and stagger two steps forward on unsteady legs before sinking slowly to his knees. His mind seemed to have gone blank, but his mouth still tingled from Dee's masterful kisses.

Dee's eyes sparked with an arousing combination of mischief and desire when he turned back from locking the door and saw Ryo on his knees in the middle of the kitchen floor. "I'm gonna take that as an invitation," he said, stepping up to Ryo with his hands on his belt buckle.


Ryo could only stare at the bulge in the front of Dee's jeans. He knew what was coming. He couldn't say that it was his favorite thing, especially if it went on for too long, but he had a feeling that Dee just wanted him to make a token effort, given that they were in the middle of the kitchen and a little too close to the entrance door for comfort. Besides, he knew how good it felt to be on the receiving end, so he certainly didn't mind being the one to give pleasure in this way.


Dee tugged his belt out of the loops of his pants and dropped it onto the floor next to Ryo. Then he undid the button of his jeans and jerked his zipper down. Ryo watched as Dee's deft fingers pushed down the front of his black boxers and freed his erection, which he held in one hand, pointing straight at Ryo's face. "Open your mouth, Ryo," he said, his eyes intent and almost fierce.


A little voice in the back of Ryo's mind observed that this was the first time Dee had requested such a thing without saying 'please', or at least without asking in a nice way. Dee was basically ordering him to do this. He wondered briefly if he should protest, but then decided not to. After all, he had given Dee a few orders the last time they had had sex, so fair was fair.


In any case, he found himself feeling even more aroused as the musky, male scent of Dee's crotch rose to his nostrils. His lover's penis, balls and pubic hair smelled like sex and desire. It represented the masculinity Ryo had always been drawn to, but had resolutely denied having an interest in. He took hold of Dee's hips with both hands and licked the head of the cock that was pointing at his face.


Dee responded with a grunt, and immediately a drop of preseminal fluid welled up out of his penis. Ryo licked it again.


"No babe, don't lick this time. Just open your mouth. I wanna fuck your face."

"You... what?" Ryo's eyes flickered up at him nervously.


"I wanna watch my cock going in and out of your beautiful mouth. And I want you to look up at me while I do it."

For some reason, those words went straight to Ryo's balls, causing them to tighten against his body. He already knew his face was flushed, but he could feel it getting hotter. Dee wanted eye contact during oral sex? He had done that a few nights ago when he was feeling bold. Dee had obviously liked it. But Dee had not been in control at that time; Ryo had. He wasn't sure if he could maintain eye contact when he wasn't the one in control.

"You can do it, Ryo." Dee's voice held a coaxing note. "Come on, open up. And keep those gorgeous, dark eyes on my face. I'm not that hard to look at, am I?"


"No. You're very easy on the eyes, and of course you know it." Ryo smiled up at his partner, reassured by his cajoling tone. "Just don't choke me, okay?" he added before sinking down a little lower on his knees and tilting his head back to take Dee's cock into his mouth.

Dee pushed in with a feral grin. "As if."


Ryo kept his tongue on his lower teeth to protect Dee, and curled his upper lip over his teeth for the same reason. It was funny how he instinctively did those things now. The first time he had ever done this, he kept forgetting. But not since then. Sure, Dee called this 'fucking his face', but it was still an act of trust for any man to put his penis in a partner's mouth.

He felt one of Dee's hands descend onto his hair to hold his head in place. Legs spread apart, Dee stood in the dominant position he seemed to want, hissing softly through his teeth as he fucked Ryo's open mouth with rapid, shallow strokes. Ryo didn't find the eye contact as difficult as he had feared. It was nothing like the time when Dee had lured him into the client bathroom provided by his lawyer's office, and had then forced him to watch his own face in the mirror as Dee fucked him standing up against the sink console.


In fact, Ryo was getting off on watching Dee's face now, absorbing his excitement, and drawing strength from it. A becoming pinkness rode Dee's high cheekbones, and thick strands of his formerly carefully styled hair were starting to hang in his eyes. Brilliant green cat eyes burned down at Ryo, twin jewels in an unspeakably handsome face. Dee's lips were still swollen from the passionate kissing earlier, and from the angle at which Ryo was viewing his partner, he could periodically glimpse a hint of white teeth as Dee's mouth twisted slightly in pleasure. Ryo realized that he was finding the whole experience hugely stimulating, and wanted to take in more of Dee's length, if possible.


Accordingly, he pulled back from his work long enough to murmur, "Deeper," before once again engulfing Dee's manhood with his willing mouth.


"No," said Dee, shaking his head.

"Mm!" demanded Ryo, with the shallowest of nods.

"You sexy thing," growled Dee huskily, and a slow grin crept across his features. The pressure of his hand lightened on Ryo's head as he stopped resisting. "Just don't choke yourself, okay?"


"Mm!" said Ryo again, this time with the barest shake of his head. Then he resolutely pushed forward to engulf another inch of Dee's phallus. He felt it bump against the back of his throat, but instead of triggering the dreaded gag reflex, it caused a small wave of pleasure. This excited him: he had felt this odd pleasure one or two times previously, and he wanted to feel it again. Once more, he advanced down the length of the shaft, and felt it slide a short distance into his throat this time. Immediately, it seemed as though the amount of saliva in his mouth increased in response to the need for it. If he was going to get Dee further into his throat, he knew that there had to be lots of natural lubrication. He drew back until he was able to take a quick breath in through his nose, and then resolutely pushed forward again. He lasted about another six or seven strokes of shallow throat penetration before the first spasm occurred in his chest and lurched up into his throat. Dee understood right away and pulled back.


"Easy, there," he said. "Don't get carried away."


"But, it was going so well," Ryo protested thickly, reaching for Dee's penis. It bumped heavily against his face, leaving a smear of saliva and precum behind. Dee's hand immediately brushed against his cheek, wiping off the stickiness.

"No, baby," he said. "You know that once you wake up the gag reflex, you can't stop it from coming back."


"But, Dee..."

"Time to stop, love. It was a good run." Dee's voice was low and warm. "We can do it again tomorrow, if you want." He pulled Ryo up onto his feet and drew him in for a swift kiss. Ryo noticed that the cigarette taste had burned off, and Dee's own personal taste was now dominant again. He snuggled closer to Dee, nipping at his partner's lips and nudging him for deeper kisses, until Dee acquiesced. The room spun around for Ryo again, and after a short while, he slid his lips off Dee's.

"I'm getting better, right?" asked Ryo in a husky whisper, his lips moving lightly over the skin just under Dee's ear.


"Oh baby," Dee groaned. "You certainly are. But you were amazing to start with. Come back here..."

Another passionate kiss stilled further conversation for at least another minute. At the end of it, Ryo was emitting muffled sounds against Dee's lips and throat, and his erect penis was making rhythmic contact with his partner's lean, muscular thigh.


"You're coming with me right now," muttered Dee, and dragged Ryo across the linoleum to the carpeted hallway that separated the kitchen and living room from the bedrooms. Scant seconds later, they were in Ryo's bedroom, illuminated by the late afternoon sunlight that poured in through the bedroom window. Dee let go of Ryo so that he could lock the bedroom door behind them and yank down the blinds. Then he turned around, and Ryo felt gooseflesh tingle over his arms and chest at the simmering heat he saw in his lover's eyes
.

"Strip," Dee ordered.

Ryo's hands instinctively went to the hem of his tee-shirt before the word Dee had used registered, and caused him to hesitate. "Strip?"

"Not like a show, Ryo. Just take your clothes off."

"Uh, what about you?"

"After you've removed every stitch of your clothing, you can come over here and undress me." 

Ryo just nodded, relieved that Dee didn't want him to take off his clothes in a creative or fancy way. He knew he couldn't do that. He still felt self-conscious though, so he turned around as he pulled his tee-shirt over his head and tossed it onto the bed. The goosebumps spread to the bare skin of his back because he could feel Dee's eyes roaming hotly all over him. Still with his back toward Dee, he opened the fly of his cargo shorts and let them drop to his ankles. Clad only in a pair of gray and purple plaid cotton boxers, he picked up his shorts and tee-shirt and walked briskly past Dee to his dresser, where he folded both items and put them away.

When he turned around to face Dee, his partner's eyes flickered down to the erection in Ryo's shorts and then back up to his face. Dee smirked knowingly, and caressed his own cock a couple of times. His jeans were still open, but were held up by their tightness.

"Get your shorts off, Ryo. Now."

Ryo shrugged like he didn't care and removed his boxers with trembling hands. He always felt shy to be naked while Dee was still clothed, but he was shortly going to remedy that by undressing Dee.
He knew he would feel better when Dee was naked, too.

"Come here," commanded Dee, his eyes gentle. He beckoned with one hand, and Ryo obeyed with his gaze cast down.

Ryo reached up and unbuttoned Dee's shirt first, and then, because he couldn't resist, he ran both his hands over the lean muscles of his partner's torso, flicking his thumbs tentatively over Dee's nipples. Dee reacted with a small sound and Ryo glanced up at his face for a moment before doing it again. He then lowered his head and suckled each nipple in turn, while Dee murmured in appreciation and encouraged him by stroking his hair and his shoulders.

"Feels good, Ryo. Jesus." Dee put a hand under Ryo's jaw and raised his head from his right nipple so that he could kiss Ryo's mouth.

Ryo stood on his toes and pressed his naked body against Dee's partially clothed one while Dee sucked on his tongue. When the head of Ryo's penis made contact with Dee's hard length, he groaned into Dee's mouth and rubbed harder. Dee's other hand came down and started slowly, but firmly jerking Ryo's cock. This made Ryo forget how to kiss. His teeth scraped against Dee's as he pulled back to look at his partner in entreaty. "Dee, come on..."

"Yeah, Ryo? What would you like me to do?" The hand that Dee had been using to cup Ryo's jaw now slid down his body to knead one of his buttocks.

"Lets... Let's go to bed," breathed Ryo. His penis was impossibly hard and his knees were trembling. He wanted to be lying down in a comfortable position and he wanted to feel Dee's long, powerful body against his.

"Sure," said Dee with a grin. "Let's do that. But first I want you to finish undressing me."

Ryo made a sound of impatience and, with an effort, twisted himself away from Dee's grip. He moved behind Dee and pulled his jacket and shirt together off his shoulders, leaving his lover naked from the waist up. Fortunately the closet was right there and he didn't have to rely on his shaky legs to walk any great distance. He yanked out a hanger and impatiently hung up Dee's shirt and fashionable sport coat. Then he peeled Dee's tight jeans down over his hips, making sure that the boxers came with them. These he just tossed over the chair in the corner. "There," he said. "You're naked."

Dee folded his arms. "While I appreciate the fact that you're clearly hot for me," he said, "I'm not one hundred percent naked. I'm still wearing my socks."

"Who cares about your stupid socks!" Ryo got behind Dee again and propelled him toward the bed. This made Dee laugh with delight.

When Dee's knees bumped against the side of the bed, he spun around and seized Ryo in both arms. Ryo felt himself yanked off balance and tossed onto the bed. Dee didn't follow him right away. Instead he pulled open the drawer to Ryo's nightstand and fished out the tube of KY jelly and a packet of wet wipes. After tossing the latter down on the bed next to Ryo, he held up the lubricant while looking down at Ryo with a glint in his eye. "Guess what?"

Ryo considered trying to talk Dee into doing something else instead, but Dee must have read his mind because he started shaking his head. "Uh-uh, nope, don't even think about saying no. You haven't let me inside your hot little ass for a week and a half! Today's the day I'm getting back in."

"Um, but Dee–" Ryo rolled onto his back, the better to fend Dee off. If he decided he wanted to fend Dee off, that is.

"Not listening, not kidding. Spread 'em."

"Dee!"

"Aw, don't worry, I'm not gonna just slam my dick in there without working you into a real good lather first." Dee got on top of Ryo and nudged his thighs apart with one of his knees. "You're gonna want it real bad by the time I get done with you. I predict begging. Maybe some whimpering." Dee smirked and unscrewed the cap from the lube. "You might even order me to fuck you."

"I seriously doubt that," Ryo informed him.

"It could happen." Dee squeezed a dollop of lubricant onto his left hand, and raised Ryo's right leg under the knee with his other hand.

"W-wait, Dee, not so fast... Can you just..." Ryo tried to squirm away, but he couldn't get far because Dee was between his legs.

Dee hesitated and looked down at Ryo in silence for a moment. Neither man spoke.

"You got something you want to say?" Dee was completely still. The hand with the lube on it was resting somewhere out of Ryo's line of sight, not touching him.

Ryo understood that this was his moment to speak up if he didn't want Dee to penetrate him. But would he be able to say the words? And was it what he really wanted? He stared up at Dee, torn. What decided him was that he could sense Dee starting to withdraw emotionally. He could almost understand why. He was on the verge of saying no to something that he had been enjoying for weeks, that both of them had enjoyed together. And why? Because he was having a problem with the way people put a stigma on the guy who took the bottom role in a gay relationship, or because he was having a problem with Dee and his attitude toward bottoming? Or both? But Ryo had to admit to himself that he hadn't yet made Dee aware of his concerns in this area. He kept waiting for Dee to figure it out like he usually did, but it seemed that for once, Dee wasn't catching on. Even if Dee did figure it out, Ryo couldn't really see a solution to the problem as long as Dee had an aversion to being penetrated.

At that moment, Norm's words came back to him.
"Well, if your guy won't bottom for you and you want to stay with him, then you're just going to have to find a way to accept it." All right then, he accepted it. He wanted to be with Dee. One way or another, they would manage.

"Dee, just–" Ryo took a deep breath. "Just do it, okay?" He summoned up the semblance of a petulant mood and conveyed it to Dee with his eyes and lower lip. "Don't you think you've made me wait long enough?"   

"I've made you wait long enough?" Dee stared down at him in a patent mixture of indignation and relief. "You've got some nerve, you flighty sonofabitch. Get your legs up, and get ready to be ridden a hard thirty laps."

Ryo obediently raised his legs, and then trembled all over as he felt Dee's lubricated finger slide into him and go straight for his prostate. He closed his eyes and tried not to fulfill any of Dee's predictions regarding begging or whimpering. Oh, it felt good! Why did so many people have a problem with men who liked this? Obviously they had never felt the thrill of this particular pleasure. Most of them probably never would.

When the second finger forced its way in alongside the first, a sound fell from Ryo's lips that might have, under certain circumstances, been construed as a whimper. Then he heard Dee's voice speaking low and urgently just above his face.

"Open your eyes, Ryo. Look at me."

Ryo's eyes opened to see Dee gazing down at him with a somewhat smug expression on his face. "You like this, don't you, Ryo? Admit that you like it."

"I... "

"Come on, man up here. Admit it!"

"Yes." Ryo gasped as Dee's fingertips brushed over his prostate gland once more. "Yes, I like it."

"How much do you like it?"

"A lot."

"Do you like it when my cock is inside you?"

"Um, yes."

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

Ryo nodded.

"Then you should ask me to fuck you, babe. Come on, say it."

Ryo shook his head. "No, Dee. I'm not gonna say it. You should just do it."  

Dee grinned at him. "Oh, it's a foregone conclusion that I'm gonna do it. The question is 'when'. Will it be ten seconds from now or ten minutes from now?"

"Dee, it's not gentlemanly to make your lover wait when he really, really needs you to satisfy him." Ryo squirmed and pushed down on Dee's fingers.

Dee couldn't help laughing. "What makes you think I'm a gentleman?"

"You're a gentleman sometimes. It would be good if right now could be one of those times." Ryo reached up and stroked the side of Dee's face. "Please," he added, his eyes closing briefly in pleasure as Dee twisted his fingers a quarter turn.

"Well, all right, then. I'm counting that 'please' as begging." Dee withdrew his fingers and cleaned them with a wet wipe.

Ryo's whole body quivered with anticipation as Dee took his penis in his hand and lined it up against his entrance. He felt the pressure as Dee pushed. He liked that part, the pushing at the beginning. Then it usually got a little painful as the ring of his anus was forced to stretch to accommodate Dee's cock. Breathe, he told himself. Breathe. The pain was starting. Dee's penis had a large, flared head on it. Although it had natural cushioning, its width was still considerable.

Dee grunted with effort and pushed harder. The pain peaked for Ryo as he was breached. He bore it in silence because soon, very soon, the pain would fade like it always did, and the pleasure would take over.

"Okay, babe?"

"Y-yeah," Ryo whispered, his fingertips digging hard into Dee's bicep and hip. "Push in more."

"Uh-uh, not until you let up on the death grip. You're not ready for more. Can you try to relax a bit?"

Ryo nodded and took another deep breath through his nose. He let go of Dee's hip and ran his fingers over his own penis and balls. That helped, because it increased the pleasure and made the pain recede somewhat.

"That's it, sweetheart," said Dee encouragingly. "You're still a little too tight, though. I swear you're tighter than you were two weeks ago."

"R-really?" Ryo wasn't sure if this was possible.

"Yeah! The more often we do it, the easier it gets for you. But if we stop for a while, you tighten up again."

"Dee, that's got to be bullshit-- oh!" Ryo's abdominal muscles clenched again when he felt Dee slide another inch into him.

"Ryo, I swear, you're like a virgin today." Dee made the slightest of movements and Ryo promptly unclenched and moaned because now Dee's penis was nosing against his G-spot. He felt several droplets of preseminal fluid rush out of his penis, one after the other. He spread the wetness down his shaft with his fingertips, and looked up into Dee's eyes. He didn't speak, but Dee got the message and nodded briefly before pushing in another two inches. He paused for a moment and then slid the rest of the way home, accompanied by the sound of Ryo panting almost frantically. Ryo was aware that his whole body was trembling as he struggled to adjust to the feeling of fullness. He could feel the entire length of Dee's shaft throbbing inside him. It was an exquisite combination of pleasure-pain, and the feeling excited him to the point where he was afraid he might come in the next ten seconds. The hand that had been on Dee's bicep now fluttered across Dee's chest, groping at his muscles without any finesse. Ryo felt there was nothing he could do about his lack of smoothness or coordination because he was very close to being overwhelmed by the sensations in his penis, balls, and of course, his very full ass.

"Like it?" breathed Dee. His face revealed that he already knew the answer.

"Y-yeah."

"Want it hard?"

"Yes!"

When Dee pulled slowly back, back, back, Ryo cried out at the intensity of the burn. He yelled even louder when Dee shoved in again, all the way to the balls. He came abruptly in a great gush on only the third stroke. He loved coming with his ass full of cock. It was different from other orgasms that didn't involve being penetrated. It was more intense.
God, he had missed this! He knew he was making a lot of noise because he could hear himself, but he couldn't control the sounds he was making at all. Dee must have been encouraged by all the noise and the way Ryo's tight passage was spasming around his penis, because his thrusts sped up and he came a short time later himself. Ryo felt Dee shuddering and cursing before he collapsed on top of him.

They lay together, breathing rapidly as their heart rates slowed to normal. The sweat and sticky come between their bodies itched a little, but Ryo endured it for Dee's sake. Dee was preoccupied with murmuring breathless and muffled endearments into his hair, and clinging to him almost for dear life. He always did this, the big mushball. Ryo smiled at the ceiling, thinking that none of his female lovers had ever gotten this emotional after sex.

Ryo felt incredibly tired. After an extremely short night's sleep, he had worked for much of the day, been threatened by Abernathy's fiercely intimidating lady lawyer, been propositioned out of the blue by a man he had been hoping to become friends with, and had then gone through a fight with Dee. The post-fight sex had been awesome, of course, but he couldn't allow himself to fall asleep just yet. He didn't think it would be possible anyway, with Dee's dead weight on top of him. He was also very much aware of the fact that Dee's cock was shrinking inside him and would soon fall out of his body. That would lead to extremely messy sheets unless he could lay his hands on those wet wipes Dee had dropped onto the bed. Where were they? He started feeling around with one hand.

Dee grunted in sleepy protest when he felt one of Ryo's arms leave his back, so Ryo turned his head and kissed Dee's ear to reassure him.

Today's orgasm had taught Ryo something. He really liked bottoming. He now knew it wasn't something he could give up or limit. It wouldn't kill him to be on the bottom for the rest of his life, although he felt even more sure that he wanted to keep his predilection a secret. Guys who took it up the ass definitely got no respect. In fact, saying that a guy was taking it up the ass from management or had gotten buttfucked in a business deal was a particularly crude way of saying that the guy was a loser or had been defeated, or in some way stripped of his manhood and turned into an object that was no longer a man. He couldn't help but find this upsetting. The situation with Dee being the sole top in this relationship would be a lot more difficult for him to work with if Ryo didn't find very real pleasure in being penetrated. It would also be a problem if it was the main thing Dee wanted to do. But that was definitely not the case. Ryo certainly had mixed feelings about the whole concept of bottoming, but the fact was that he liked it, and he had to admit it.

"Dee." He nudged his partner. "That was great, but let me up."

"Really?" Dee raised his head. "That was great or I was great?"

"We were great," replied Ryo firmly. "And now we should have a nice, hot, soapy shower."

"Soapy?"

"Don't even think about it."

Dee's arms tightened around him. "Let's get back to the part where I was great."

"Okay, you were great."

"And you love me."

"And I love you."

"And you don't even want to look at any other guy as long as you have me."

Ryo smiled and stroked his hair. "Don't be silly. Anyone else would be a total step down."

"You mean it?" Dee raised his head again and looked into Ryo's eyes searchingly.

"I do," Ryo replied, his face and tone serious. "We agreed that this was a monogamous relationship. I don't want that to change. You don't have to worry that I'm going to cheat on you. I don't want to lose you."

"You don't?" Dee looked positively joyful.

"No, of course I don't. Now can we please have a shower before Bikky comes home?"

"Okay, but can you tell me more about--"

"Shower!"

"Oh, all right," grumbled Dee. "Jeez, someone around here sure would benefit from Romance 101 classes."

~ end of chapter 16~

Additional Author's Notes:


You might be feeling that Dee and Ryo's fight raised some issues that need further exploration, but as much as I wanted to go on, I had to stop because this chapter has been one of the longest I've ever written. I would love to take you back into Dee's POV, too, but that will also have to wait. This was the first time in Justice or A New Day that I didn't switch back and forth between Dee and Ryo's POVs during the sex scene.

Re the door to Ryo's apartment and exactly where Dee entered: I suspect we all have our own mental picture of the layout of Ryo's apartment. If you look in Volume 6, Act 17, page 5, where Ryo and Carol and talking in the kitchen, you'll see a door that has four panels on it and a mat in front of it. I believe that is the bathroom door. Back when I first read the manga, I assumed that was the front door (because of the mat). But later when I looked at it again, I realized that if you do a panel count, this is the same door that Dee and Bikky opened when they caught Carol in the bathroom. 
In Volume 6, Act 17, page 11, Ryo opens the door to Dee and Bikky and says "Hey, welcome back, guys." The front door has smaller panels and there seem to be at least six, possible eight. On the next page, we see this door twice. Definitely eight panels. The front door is situated behind Bikky, as he is sitting at the kitchen table. The table and chairs are in the kitchen, therefore the entrance door to Ryo's apartment appears to be in the kitchen. Because I'm detail oriented, I've spent a certain amount of time studying these details. Ryo's bedroom door opens directly off the living room. This particular door has three big panels. You see it in Volume 1 when they bring Carol home, and you see it in Volume 5 when Dee follows an angry Ryo home from work. Dee gets Bikky to let him into the apartment through the eight-paneled entrance door off the kitchen. A few minutes earlier, Ryo had stomped through the kitchen past Bikky, presumably through the living room next, and then locked himself in his bedroom. Dee bangs on that three-paneled door. I've never been able to figure out exactly where in Ms. Matoh's layout Bikky's room is. All I know is that he has to go through the living room to get to it. When he came home in Act 10 after beating up Bruce at the basketball court, he passed through the kitchen and then through the living room on his way to get changed in his bedroom. So here's where I'll confess that I've taken a few liberties. I don't like any bathroom to open directly off the kitchen (that's gross!), so I moved the bathroom to the end of a short hallway. Ryo's apartment doesn't seem to have any hallways, so I added one. I've also put Bikky's room next to the bathroom. Bikky's and Ryo's bedrooms share a wall. I see three doors/doorways leading off Ryo's kitchen. One is the main entrance door, which I've kept in its original location. The other two are the doorway (no door) leading into the living room, which I've also kept in its original location, and the last one is the doorway that I added to accommodate the hallway that I added. Ryo's bedroom still shares a wall with the living room, just like in Sanami Matoh's layout, but the door to the bedroom is now in a hallway and no longer opens directly from the living room.

Sorry for the long boring description! I'm sure you all have your own idea of what their respective apartments look like, but I wanted to let you know how I see it so that you can imagine the movement and positioning of the characters without being too distracted.

Thanks for reading!


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asdf... and it was just as good as I'd thought it would be. @____@;;

Particularly the way you touched on the homophobia of daily culture - being "buttfucked" as unpleasant or becoming less of a man - I hate that shit and sometimes I think I'm the only one cognizant of it. Though, being biologically female myself (though still queer), I don't have to deal with the "less of a man" part... so seeing a fictional character deal with it is interesting, though still heart-rending as I've become attached to the characters in FAKE. I could go on for days about queer issues but I'll stop myself there. :)

also the lemon... *fans self* wooooo. Excellent chapter overall... tied up some issues and then tossed some more in, complete with a massive emotional rollercoaster. I'll be waiting for the next :)

Thank you, sympiesometer! In the last story, Ryo was trying to get used to being gay and just the general homophobia that goes with that. Now he's trying to define for himself what kind of gay gay he is and isn't. He has observed that some types are hated more than others. Even Ryo himself isn't one hundred percent tolerant and open-minded about all the types he has observed, but we'll have to explore those particular feelings in another chapter.

In chapter 38 of A New Day, Ryo had these thoughts: He was still wondering whether it would be possible for him to live a respectable kind of life in the larger, straight community, but as a gay man. From what he had seen of the gay community, he could not really see himself fitting in there.

I'm glad you enjoyed the massive emotional rollercoaster! I find that an apt description. I really don't like angst very much, but the plot of this story requires a certain amount of drama. There's more coming, too.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

That was amazing!!

(Anonymous)
I read the whole chapter twice - once just didn't seem to be enough. I feel like a lot of stuff happened in this chapter, even though you described it as only a fight and a lemon. I have to congratulate you for making Ryo consciously aware of quite a few important issues about him being gay, and in such a fabulous way. And it would not have felt so real if all those issues were quickly resolved in one grand fight/conversation and happily ever after. Ryo needs time to think over these things and gather his courage to speak up - even though it's just Dee.

It's true that I missed Dee in this chapter - I was wondering what's going through his mind, especially when he was returning the keys to Ryo's apt and during the awkward silence before sex. But the way you wrote this chapter was superb - it makes sense that you decided to forego a few things in favour of Ryo confronting (in a way) his demons. Although, I am sure he has left Dee wondering, really how sure is he about loving Dee.

Norm still believes that Dee is a macho bully so I am guessing he hasn't completely given up on Ryo yet. Norm seems slightly pessimistic about love between two men - due to his personal experience, of course. It would explain his casual attitude towards having sex with Ryo or more like his desperation to have some sort of connection with someone as nice as Ryo. I thought that this fight would probably make him see what Ryo and Dee have (before you posted this chapter) but now I think he is going to make another appearance.

And it was so typical of Ryo to actually make an effort to hang Dee's coat and shirt properly in the closet, even when he was so hot for Dee. I am glad he tossed the jeans just like that :D The lemon was totally hot - I wish Ryo wasn't such an unromantic cad afterwards! ;)

I am not an expert at all, but here are my two cents about tablets. I am a huge fan of apple products. I have been using an iphone and a macbook pro for a couple of years now. It took a little effort to get used to Mac OS after switching from Windows, but now I wouldn't even dream of switching back. I have a friend who recently bought an ipad and it is just as terrific.

Have fun exploring more tablets. I will probably end up reading this chapter one more time ;)

Cheers,
ST

ST, thank you for all your detailed and astute observations. I think we're all feeling kind of bad for Norm right now. You are so right about him. He's very attracted to Ryo, not just for his outstanding good looks, but also because Ryo is really nice, as you pointed out. He would love to be close to someone like Ryo, but unfortunately for him, Dee got there first. In any case, Dee was the only one brash enough to keep going after Ryo even after being rejected multiple times. Anyone else would have given up a long time ago, and Ryo would never have been forced to confront his gayness.

Norm is left feeling that although Dee is good looking, he's not good enough for Ryo. He was already feeling that might be the case, or he wouldn't have asked Ryo if Dee was treating him right.

Although Ryo is an unromantic cad, he does love Dee. He just doesn't want to spend as much time talking about it as Dee does. It would have been nice if he had made more of an effort today of all days, but he feels that by simply telling Dee he's not going to cheat on him because they're in a monogamous relationship, that's enough, and Dee should accept that and be satisfied with it. Dee would like to hear more, a lot more, but he isn't going to get it.

I'm already ready to take my Blackberry back. I've been reminded of one important thing: I HATE public Wifi! If I have to use WiFi with this thing, it's reallly not going to be much more than a glorified ebook reader for me.

Yes, Ryo needs time to think things over. He doesn't even know at this point if he's going to be able to find the courage to speak up.

(Deleted comment)
Thanks for commenting. I found what you had to say very interesting, especially about the gay community, which I freely admit I know very little about. What I do know about, however, is human nature. Regardless of whether a person is attracted to men, women, neither, or both, we all have the same kinds of human feelings. We all want to belong somewhere, to feel safe, to be welcome, to be appreciated and loved. Some want to be leaders and some want to be followers, and of course even those desires depend on the situation.

Unfortunately, the leaders of groups have to use judgmental behavior in order to define the group. You and I don't get why it's not okay that you've dated guys, but there are obviously some people who feel that welcoming you with that black mark against you will somehow weaken the group and undermine solidarity in some way. If the people who require you and others to play a part in order to be admitted and welcomed had more confidence in their own choices, there wouldn't be a problem. It's always surprising when we find groups who experience discrimination from the larger society because of race, gender, sexual preference, etc., turning right around and being discriminatory and narrow-minded in their turn. I don't understand why we can't just be respectful of other people's choices, preferences and lifestyles, without having to put people down and make them feel inferior or unwanted.

I guess the reason Ryo's sexual preference doesn't define him is that he was confused about his sexual preference for a long time and was not in a hurry to address it. So he poured his energy into other things instead.

Even now that he has finally addressed it, he has no desire to 'prove' himself as a gay man. He wants to belong to the larger community and just not have his sexuality be an issue. (Good luck, Ryo! *Sigh*)

We'll spend a lot of time in Dee's POV in the next chapter, I promise.

Thanks so much for commenting!


Dee to the arrogant emotional rollercoaster rescue?

Heh, anyway, just when you think things can't get worse, you keep us on our toes and hanging desperately onto cliffs. ;D

<3

Now answer me this: are you feeling kind of pissed at Dee after reading this chapter? Because I expect that some people will be mad at Dee and others will be mad at Ryo. (I sincerely hope that no one will be mad at ME!)

This chapter opened more than one can of worms, and I hated to just leave everyone like that, but the total word count ended up at 11,449 including my admittedly lengthy author's notes. A chapter's gotta end sometime!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Hi brit,

Let me just say this update was about the only bright spot in yesterday. Not that I have no life, it was just a crappy day and this really got my rotten mood perked up.

I think the whole 'point of view' issue is a non issue. Really, if a character's thoughts are written, what you hear is their inner monologue. In this chapter, we have Dee's and Norm's POV told to us--by Ryo. You really do see their thoughts through his eyes. Clueless or not, detective or not, Ryo knows human nature too. He can see the emotions of both men -anger, desperation, fear- and handles both (very different men) with honesty, compassion and calm. (Mostly). Even though he is a little confused and afraid himself.

Probably the only character I am disappointed in is Norm, not Dee or Ryo. For him to blatantly hit on someone he knows is taken is pretty low. I think it's a good assessment that he's lonely, and reaching out to Ryo with what he hopes is a better offer...As a character he has become a little more human himself, unfortunately not in a good way. I told you last time I was really liking Ross; at least he was honest about his nastiness. Norm has come down a peg in my feelings toward him. This is in no way a reflection on how you took the character, I think it was a nice surprise to see that side of him. And I can see he and Ryo totally becoming friends anyway, after an awkward forgiveness/apology session. Dee, on the other hand...

It's also nice to see Ryo realize when he is wrong. Calling Dee back, instead of letting him walk away, was a big step. Hopefully, he'll come to the same conclusion for his son, and won't send Bikky away too.

Now the lemon...Beautifully, realistically written. Ryo's thoughts about the penis-in-mouth-trust-thing was well said. I never thought about it that way (don't have a penis). It takes a lot of trust to let someone stick one up your butt too, tho. I really expected the lemon to have Ryo topping Dee. But the twist of having Ryo admit to himself (and Dee) he likes bottoming and is still a 'man', was actually much more in character for him.

Now Dee... Poor tough guy with miserable self esteem. He thinks the only things he has to offer are his looks, body, sexual prowess. Someday, maybe, he will stop thinking Ryo is too good for him. Hopefully Ryo will be able to convince him. That 'Romance 101' spoken wish was a really kind of sad.

Enough of my ramblings, already! Your writing is always a joy to read. Thank you, thank you for sharing with all of us!






What a totally awesome review! Thank you so much for noticing all the little details. I've been finding it much harder to stay in one POV than my previous style of jumping from mind to mind. Now I have to pay attention to, exactly as you said, showing other people's feelings through the observations of the person whose POV I'm in. He can't know exactly what other people are thinking, so sometimes he guesses. Other times he just observes things without really understanding what they mean. (Then I hope the readers understand) It's much more challenging to write this way, and I just have to hope that the readers notice all the little hints and interpret them the way I want them to. I know not everyone will, but you did and I'm grateful!

Norm gambled and lost. He managed to fool himself into thinking that he could be better for Ryo than Dee is, but he shot his bolt too soon when he didn't have all the facts. It was rather a low, self-serving thing he did, and you can be sure he's aware of it and feels terrible.

Yes, poor Dee! Always asking for love and affirmations of his value. So often his seeming self-confidence is just bravado. He had a hell of a time winning Ryo when all the odds were against him, and now he's worried about how he's going to keep his lover. I do have a long-term plan for his self-confidence to increase with Ryo's help, but it's obviously going to take some time.

Thank you again for your thoughtful comments and observations! I hope your Monday was an improvement over your Sunday.

Edited at 2011-05-31 12:28 am (UTC)

Thank you for an amazing chapter! I think everything I wanted to say was already said better by previous commenteers, and they also pointed out many things I couldn't have thought of myself, but wholeheartedly agree with.

You were amazing in your describtion of homophobia, attitudes, beliefs and all - this chapter was about so much more than just a fight and lemon. Those issues I'm so eager to read about also again in the future!

Dee's fears are so heart-wrenching, but also believable. I guess I kinda was mad at him in the middle of this chapter, but definitely not by the end. Such a long chapter anyway!

I think this chap touched me on a personal level as well, as my best friend since childhood is a gay man, and he's been coming out of the so called closet this spring - and I feel we're closer than ever.

I'm interested to see which twist Norm's story takes!

Thanks!

You're so welcome, twiyah! I had originally said in the author's notes that this chapter contained no plot whatsoever, but one of my betas insisted that I take it out because it wasn't true. Sure, it was a fight and then sex, but, it ended up being quite plotty in a character-development kind of way.

I'm absolutely thrilled to see that this chapter seems to be arousing feelings and interest in my readers. It's okay that you were mad at Dee-- Ryo was kind of mad at him too. Norm was none too thrilled about him, either! I know you love Dee deep down, like all of us.

I'm glad your gay friend has such a kind and supportive friend as you. Coming out of the closet takes so much courage. It can't be easy for him. I hope his family and friends have been respectful and accepting of who he is.

Poor Norm has been both rejected and intimidated this afternoon, and is feeling very sorry for himself indeed. He has gone to get comfort from his mom. She'll tell him off for hitting on a taken man. We definitely haven't seen the last of him!

Thank you, as always, for commenting!

I'm so glad I didn't miss a chapter while I was on my trip! I was worried! :P

Wow... Dee has issues with jealousy. And Ryo really needs to stop being so shy about telling Dee what's bothering him. He's running in circles and the problem is only brewing volatile. Telling yourself that you're just going to 'deal with it' is a bad plan! I've been there... it doesn't work Ryo!

I love how much emotion and background you manage to work into a single chapter. You've displayed so much of the insecurities and details at play in your story in just a few pages. I really can't wait for the next chapter! I want to see how the problems grow and things are solved and just how the characters continue to change and find their roles in the overall story.

Also... I'm glad you liked the fluff! Puzzle rings are traditionally made of wood and are given to those to become engaged in pieces. When they have solved the puzzle, they are ready to wed. :P Most have 8 bands, but they can get up to about 16! I thought that they were appropriate because the two kinds of metal are intertwined and totally different, but they complete each other.

Welcome back, Neengy! I missed you. I hope you had fun and the weather was good.

I really liked the fluff. I think I was almost more excited than Dee to find out what was inside the box!

Yes, our Dee is a jealous boy. He's come dangerously close to letting his jealousy get him fired by the Commissioner more than once!

One day I'll publish the story of Ryo and his ex-girlfriend Meredith. Now that was some jealousy.

Ryo never wants to admit to weakness, so he doesn't want to tell Dee when he's hurt or needs something. However, if he's annoyed, he has no problem with scolding. He's a notoriously bad communicator. He hasn't even had the courage to ask Dee to bottom for him, but he's already working himself into a state of resentment at the very thought of Dee saying no to him.

Anyway, I guess if all book, movie and manga characters were good communicators and never had misunderstandings, we consumers of such things wouldn't be able to go through the entertaining fun of watching them figure it all out!

Great as always! And I can honestly say that some of the language used in today's culture having to do with being gay just gets me mad. It's very unlikely I'll ever have kids (I identify as bisexual but I'm more attracted to women, honestly) but if I ever do, they will be taught not to use that kind of language. Ugh.

Um yeah, rant over :D I'll be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter and won't drop off for almost three years this time, promise.

Yes, it's shocking how much of our cultural slang expressions are anti-gay. It pops up all the time, and is always derogatory. There's more 'verbal violence' directed at gay men than gay women, although they get their fair share. Some of it is vitriolic and some is just casual. Ryo is going to be hyper-sensitive to such things for a while, now that he has finally admitted that he's gay. Before, he just tuned it out because it didn't apply to him. But now it does.

I'm really glad you came back after three years!

Edited at 2011-06-01 03:59 am (UTC)

I love love loved Ryo's and Norm's conversation about being a "wife"! One plot device/stereotype/whatever that I CANNOT STAND in M/M is pushing one character into the ultra-masculine, "husband," role, and the other into the ultra-feminie, "wife" role. One reason that I love Dee & Ryo, and your take on them in particular, is that they're both allowed to be who they are, instead of being shoehorned into these roles! The facts that Ryo bottoms and is more domestic than Dee in no way makes him any weaker or more feminine; it's just the way he is.

Also, thanks for addressing the whole "linguistic homophobia" thing! I have a close friend who, while an otherwise extremely liberal, intelligent, and all-around open-minded person, used to casually use "gay" as an insult or prejorative, which pissed me off to no end. He's not homophobic (at least, not that I know of), so I always found it kind of weird that he didn't see anything wrong with being pro-same-sex marriage and responding to "Traffic is bad, so I'll be ten minutes late" with "That's so gay!" Thankfully, he's better now, but a few years ago, I felt like apologizing to the world on his behalf every time he said something so spectacularly stupid.

On a different note: mmm, lemony goodness! Thanks for providing the link to/reminding us of Sweet Frustration, which gave me a good snapshot of where their relationship is, sexually speaking, as well as providing a great appetizer! ;)

One good point that Dee made, and I'm glad to see that you brought up, was that Ryo sometimes goes beyond clueless when it comes to being hit on. Yeah, he slapped the stupid right off the Commisioner's face that one time, but there have been A LOT of times since then when someone's (usually the Commish's again) innuendos fly right over his head. I've always thought it kind of funny that Ryo could be such a sharp detective, and still be such an unbelievable ditz in his personal life. I really like the way you had them deal with this, by bringing it right out into the open and talking it out instead of letting it fester! Any more than it already had, I mean.

I admit that I've never really thought about the layout of Ryo's apartment (beyond the fact that Bikky's and Ryo's rooms must share a wall, because of all the times that Ryo worries about Bikky hearing them going at it), but this is some good info to have!

I also don't like M/M with masculine and feminine characters, but it's because of my personal preference. I'm sure there are men in this world who identify strongly with a feminine role, or what they perceive to be feminine, but I don't identify with them. I like strong characters, male or female. I don't enjoy reading about wimpy, helpless characters who cry all the time, whether they are boys or girls. Crying is my pet peeve! It should be used sparingly.

There are invisible negative connotations attached to that word 'wife'. 'Husband' is perceived as a more powerful, dynamic word. 'Wife' has less power and is more static. Ryo doesn't want to be the 'wife'. This is interesting to think about.

I see Dee as being just as domestic as Ryo. He can cook and clean, but he's mostly too lazy to cook and he has no problem going to bed and leaving the kitchen a mess, unlike Ryo. This didn't bother Ryo much before, but now that he's thinking about gay roles and which ones are perceived to be more or less powerful, he's wondering if he's the wife and if that's a bad thing. He's probably thinking too much!

Yes, I agree about Ryo being clueless when he was being hit upon. That's going to change. The problem before was that he was so adamantly convinced that he wasn't gay, that he blocked all awareness of gayness in other men, so when a man hit on him, it always came as a surprise to Ryo. Now that he's admitted he's gay and is starting to pay attention to other men, he'll get better at identifying flirty behaviour. The problem for now is that he hasn't engaged in very much flirting in his life, so he's a typical clueless male in that regard. He's not able to pick up on subtle flirt-cues, like Dee can.

I wrote Sweet Frustration a really long time ago. It was always intended to be part of the larger arc of the series, but I regret publishing it back then, because it really belongs in Justice. It is an important milestone for Ryo's sexual development.

Thanks for coming by to read and comment! Your observations are always much appreciated.




Augh, Ryo and Dee are making me so mad!

Both Dee's overwhelming possessiveness and too-pushy attitude in bed, coupled with Ryo's mild semi acceptance of such flaws (both irrevocably stemmed from Dee's issues with self confidence) irritate me to no end.

I want to punch those two fools into shape! Arrrrgh! :P

Now, now, I would advise against punching. That would just distract them from the important issue of improving their communication. Well, it's only Dee who is motivated to try improving their communication at this point. Ryo is hoping to sweep it all under the rug as soon as possible. Distractions are lining up to prevent further communication for now.

I'm glad this chapter made you feel something, even if it's 'pissed off'. It means I'm doing my job!

Thanks for commenting!

Mixed Feelings^_^

(Anonymous)
I have to admit that Ryo did annoy me in this chapter...and I truely DESPISE Norm. I have no ounce of sympathy for him and I think Ryo got off too easy with Dee. I believe Dee had every right to be upset. I was cheering Dee on when he put Ryo on the spot about inviting Norm over AFTER knowing the guy had a hard-on for him. Dee may be a tough guy...but he's loyal to those he loves and would never betray them. He deserves someone who would never think twice about looking at another. In my opinion, Dee is too forgiving when it comes to his heart. I could rant on all day about how stupid Ryo is; but I got lazy typing^_~ Sorry, I'm big when it comes to fidility and faithfulness. All in all, this was a truely enjoyable story and I hope to read more from you^_^

I believe Dee had a right to be upset, too. Dee's question about whether or not Ryo knew that Norm was gay and attracted to him before he invited him into his apartment was valid, but Ryo doesn't see the validity at all. He just thinks Dee is saying to him something like, "It's okay for me to flirt with people who are attracted to me, but it's not okay for you to do that," when, in fact, that's an oversimplification of what Dee is trying to say. However we look at it, Dee and Ryo are not on the same page on this issue.

I can tell that you love Dee! I love him, too. I hope you'll be able to forgive Norm a little in the future. He has made a big mistake and he knows it.

Thank you very much for reading, and for taking the time to comment.

Mixed Feelings...hello again!^_^

(Anonymous)
Of course! Who wouldn't LOVE Dee!^_^ He's tough but he has a heart of gold…and he's HOT^_~ Ryo is okay to; but he's too "Plain Jane" for me. I understand that Ryo is using the whole "Its okay for you but not for me" route, but I believe the only difference is that Dee knows his limit. I know you made it clear that Ryo would not cheat on Dee; but I'm not so sure. As soon as that guy made a pass on Ryo, Ryo should have kicked him out on his a** for implying him as a who***. I would have as soon as someone disrespected me and my relationship in that way. Instead, Ryo acted too causual about it and wanted to kiss Norm's a** when DEE kicked Norm out. Sorry, but I'll NEVER forgive or like that Norm guy…he already crossed the line for me. I know Dee would never cheat or hurt Ryo in any way. Hell, even though JJ was always on his tail, Dee was never oblivious to it and made it CLEAR that JJ needed to back off. Anyway, sorry again for ranting on^_^ Stories like these tend to get me passionate on my beliefs when it comes to true love. Have you ever seen "The Crow"? Awesome movie^_^ Anyways, again; I hope you plan to finish this story soon. I'm dying to know what happens next...and please don't break my heart…or Dee's!^_^

Re: Mixed Feelings...hello again!^_^

Hello again to you, too! Don't worry, I won't be breaking any hearts, although I'll probably push some envelopes.

Yes, tough...heart of gold...and HOT. That's our Dee. Awesome combination. If the guy only knew how many fangirls' hearts go pitter-pat for him, he wouldn't have such confidence issues.

Ryo doesn't have a history of knowing how to deal with people who make passes at him, and he usually wants things to be as civilized as possible.

No, I haven't seen the Crow. I only get out to about two or three movies per year, and even sitting down to watch a rented one is a rare occurrence for me. For example, I'd never seen any of the Transformers movies until recently, when I was able to watch the first one at my sister's place.

I'm very pleased that you're enjoying this story and that it's arousing strong feelings in you! I'll be able to work on the next chapter some more tomorrow. My husband will be at work and the house will be quiet. It's so nice when the house is quiet. Although if I know him, he'll give me a long list of things to achieve before he heads out the door! Grrr.

Wow, that's a hell of a make-up sex. I hate you! I love you! Bite me! Okay! For all the evocative descriptions and exquisite emoting, I really don't have much to say about the chapter. I'm sorry. It's a combination of it being quite late and me quite tired, and also I just generally don't have a lot to say about sex scenes. I don't dislike them, and we all know we're here for the hot man sex and I won't pretend otherwise. It's just that there's not much to comment on - duh, Dee and Ryo are super freaking hot. We all knew that. I only get long-winded when I'm picking apart your soap opera plot. This was just a delightful porn episode in an otherwise plot-packed story. Suffice to say I'm very happy Ryo and Dee made up, the neighbors less so, and I hope Ryo will be able to one day become friends with Norm though that that chance is looking pretty slim right now. Poor Norm. Bet he feels awful right now.

I hate you! I love you! Bite me! Okay! LOL! That about sums it up. The porniness will have to suffice for everyone for now, because we're going right back to plot-heavy in the next chapter.

Yes, Norm feels terrible about what happened. He'd feel even more terrible if he'd been a fly on the wall for the make-up sex, because then he would have seen how much chemistry Dee and Ryo have together.

Thanks for reading and commenting. I hope you'll be a little less busy this week.

Even though Ryo realizes that he likes being the bottom and he loves Dee so he'll put up with the inequality that doesn't resolve the core issue and Dee's behavior will likely make things worse in the long run.

The issue as I see it isn't just Ryo worried about his masculinity, it's the way that Dee dominates and controls things without realizing that no means no, not maybe, or I just want you to convince me. Ryo lets a lot of stuff go because he hates conflict with the people he loves but this has to have been building for years. I don't think Dee means to be an asshole he either fails to notice when something really disturbs Ryo or else misinterprets things due to his own fears of rejection.

There's hope for him. He does pull back when Ryo gags and he is fairly patient with Ryo's need to carefully put their clothes away. I think he can be trained but he's got to get over his fears just like Ryo does.

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