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A marriage made in Heaven
Dee Blue waves
brit_columbia
Hello readers and lurkers,

Don't get excited because this isn't a story update or anything. Well, it's a sort of general update on the non-writing aspects of my life. I've been working and dealing with family issues, plus my social life has been more active than usual.

I went to a wedding last weekend that featured the most amazing dessert buffet I've experienced in years! I still get excited just thinking about it. Everything was high-quality and elegantly beautiful. Not a banal, middle-class dessert to be seen. (Yes, I am a TOTAL dessert snob and proud of it!) No date squares. No Nanaimo bars. No two-bite brownies out of a bag. No indeed.

Instead, there were delicate little squares of multi-layered sponge cake separated by rich veins of buttercream frosting and fruit flavoring. They were all different. There was a low-slung, heavy, obscenely dark, flourless chocolate cake resplendently adorned with giant curls of dark chocolate. There were ornately dressed cupcakes in competing hues and personalities. There were baby macaron sandwich cookies in more flavors than I was aware existed. There were miniature, hand-rolled wafer cornettos filled with flavored creams. There were tiny little mousse cakes arranged in an inspiring mosaic of color. At one end of the table stood a huge, electric chocolate fondue down which rivers of milk chocolate cascaded and pulsed in a hypnotic rhythm of pleasure. I'm telling you, it was sort of like a meditation. I quivered, transfixed, at the sight of this... this work of ART of a dessert display!

By the way, for you fruit lovers, I will stoop and yes, I do mean 'stoop' and not 'stop', to mention the two enormous bowls of cut fruit flanking the chocolate fondue, since I am aware that the world is full of people who think nothing of sullying the smooth, rich purity of chocolate with the icky, sticky tartness of fruit. Which reminds me, there were also chocolate dipped strawberries nestled among the cakes. Those of you who have been reading this journal for a while will perhaps recall that I (to put it mildly) hate fruit, so naturally all that fresh fruit on the dessert table was safe from me. Not even the misguided application of chocolate can make it palatable. But, happily, there were more than enough other desserts to satisfy me.

Let me just pause here to thank God yet again that I had a chance to investigate the dessert table before I went to the dinner buffet. Once I had seen those exquisite offerings, there was no way on earth that I was going to allow food like meat, bread, potatoes, or rice to occupy any of my limited and suddenly valuable stomach-real-estate. I dutifully helped myself to a plate of salad (for the enzymes, you know), ate it impatiently, and then rushed off, still chewing, to the dessert table. I returned with a large plate containing about a dozen different treats.  My poor, innocent husband stared at it in shock and said, "Are all those for you?"

Yes, yes, I know. Believe it or not, I am no longer surprised and annoyed when he asks such foolish questions, like I was back in the heady, early days of our courtship and marriage. I have finally accepted the truth, which is that no matter how much I love him, my darling is still... a man. And the aforementioned question is a classic example of the kinds of mind-blowing things they say. I mean, 'Are all those for you?' ranks right up there with "Are you going to have a second glass of wine?" and "Did you eat that whole pizza?"

Sweetie, this is me. Come on, how long have you known me? Wait, don't answer that question! I would prefer not to know if you have any trouble doing the math.

Anyway, I certainly wasn't about to waste time getting into a lengthy discussion with him, so I just said, "Yup!" and dug in.

He persisted. "But-- but that's a huge plate of dessert! What will people think?" He looked around nervously. 

I can assure you that absolutely no one was paying attention to what was on my plate because they were all far more interested in what was on their own. I knew there was no point in mentioning that, however, so all I said was, "They'll think I brought it for us to share!" I then handed him the extra fork that in my infinite cunning and infinite knowledge of him, I had had the foresight to pick up. I gave him a meaningful look and added under my breath, "Don't touch anything! They really are all for me."

I then proceeded to eat everything on my plate except for half of a piece of very dark chocolate cake, which was actually too intense for me, and half of a cupcake with cardamom-flavored cream cheese frosting, which, although very tasty, was ultimately a tad too large and filling. I generously offered both to my husband, but for some mysterious reason, he declined.

Now before we go on,  I would just like to assure you all that had those been the last twelve desserts on the face of the planet, I most certainly would have shared them with my hubby. But since I had just come from a table laden with scores of similar offerings, I felt there was no need for either of us to worry that he somehow wouldn't get any.

Some time later, happily replete, I suddenly thought that I ought to go and take a photo of that dessert table so that I could relive the joy of it for years to come. I wriggled my hand into my husband's jacket to retrieve the camera and strolled to the sacred shrine.

Well! Imagine the diametrically opposing levels of delight and dismay that surged within me when I discovered that all of the desserts I had partaken of earlier had disappeared, and a completely new batch had arrived.  Wait... are you having trouble with the 'dismay' part? I do understand-- I did, too. The problem was that I was full. How on earth was I to do these new desserts justice? They all but preened flirtatiously under my admiring gaze. What to do, what to do?

I used my hubby's camera to film a little movie. Then I tucked the camera and its precious cargo under my arm and chose four more desserts, of which I enjoyed all but one. Then I danced for the next forty-five minutes! You can perhaps understand why.



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Hey, Brit! I was just starting to wonder where you'd gotten to! *waves*

Wow, that desert sounds AMAZING! Mousse, dark chocolate cake, chocolate fondue...it sounds like someone invoved in this wedding was a serious dessertophile! You're right, now I do really, really want sweets (even though I *did* just finish a rather tasty chocolate-and-strawberry crepe with whipped cream and powdered sugar)...

I'm actually ashamed to admit that I don't know what a couple of these are. What are coronettos? Macaron sandwich cookies? And what does cardamon taste like?

Lunasariel, hello! *Waves back* In my currently dessertless state, I'm horribly jealous of your chocolate and strawberry crepe.

Here are a few images for you to check out:

1. Cornettos in that holder I was talking about, but in my case it wasn't ice cream. http://www.fotosearch.com/STF001/236774/
2. Macarons: http://www.thestar.com/living/food/article/791244--french-macarons-are-a-sweet-trend

3. Cardamom... Hmmm... How to describe it? It's kind of peppery without being spicy, it's vaguely similar to cloves... It makes me think of Earl Grey Tea. It's popular in India and the Middle East. It's lovely when you pair it with cinnamon.

Yes, I'm sure that someone involved in the wedding planning was a person with a healthy respect for desserts. This is certainly one wedding that I'll never forget.

Wow, cornettos and macarons look way, way too good! I probably shouldn't have looked at these right lunch...

Pictures like that are an odd form of porn.

your personal stories read just as good as your fanfiction.

but..but...now you leave us here, with no chocolate cake and no cupcakes and no chocolate fondue at all.
so i will just let you know how jealous i am and take another one of my delicious two-bite brownies.


You have two-bite brownies in Germany??? Whoever invented those little suckers is probably a millionaire three times over by now.

Seriously, I'm happy you have something sweet to snack on. I don't, *sob* so I have to make do with my memories. But considering it's after 1:30 a.m., I should probably just give up and go to bed!

Nah, we don't, unfortunately. I'm in Canada right now. But I ate to many of them...urgh.

I understand your pain. There's nothing worse than an upcoming chocolate craving and it's just nothing there. Can lead to pure desperation. My sister used to blackmail me in those situations when we were younger, because she always had emergency-chocolate and knew I'd give her everything for it.

Hm...your icon looks tasty, too.

You're in Canada? Which province are you in? I bet you're in Ontario.

There's only one way a person can open a bag of two bite-brownies and NOT eat too many of them. You have to open the bag when you're surrounded by three or four other chocolate lovers. Hungry ones.

My sister did the exact same thing to me and my brothers. She had a collection of candy that she called 'The Candy Store' and she charged inflated prices. The game stopped after several weeks when her Candy Store was mysteriously burgled while she was out.

Hm. Unlike you, I'm not a generous person. I don't feel like sharing my candy very often. When it comes to sweets, I'm like a squirrel, but a stupid one, because I eat my ressources before winter.

I'm in Vancouver and it's beautiful. I've never seen a city as beautiful.

It's funny how our sisters came to the same business idea. But you were able to break the circle...

Told ya!

But you're probably excited about the fruit, aren't you? Huh? Huh? Go on, admit it. I promise I won't hold it against you.

I'm still regretting that I didn't hold a teacup under the running liquid chocolate of the fondue.

Not telling! *slinks away*

OK, fine. I was excited about the fruit. And I can't believe you didn't do the teacup - what's wrong with you? ;)

See, I knew it! There were little strawberries and blueberries dancing around in your aura.

And as for the teacup, well yes, that's a very good question. What was wrong with me? It's not as though fear of public censure would have stopped me. I think my brain was just short-circuiting on sugar. The regret is eating away at me! I must somehow gain access to another chocolate fondue and set this right.

I love your stories, and I love how you depict your sweet but unfortunately male husband. After 20 years, I am still amazed how he has managed to stay my husband.

Ah, I see you have more than a passing familiarity with the breed! When I was younger, I thought that marriage meant 'happily ever after'. Then I realized it was more akin to 'annoyingly ever after'. The day after the wedding day is just the beginning of an in-depth, intensive course on the true meaning of patience and tolerance.

Naturally I didn't make any such remark to the bride and groom when I was at the wedding! Let them find out for themselves.


LOL! After almost 47 years you wouldn't believe how much patience and tolerance is needed.
And shame on you for not putting the teacup under the fondue! You could have passed it off as hot chocolate - that cooled.

Oh, I would believe you. It's the single girls and newlyweds to whom we have to get the message across. I think it's really important for a woman to like her husband as well as love him. (and vice versa!) My husband said a long time ago that 'like' was more important than love because love too easily turns to hate and has too many expectations of reciprocation in it. But 'like' lasts a lot longer. I'll admit that at the time he said that I was disappointed by how pragmatic and non-romantic it sounded, but I got over it because, basically, I'm just as pragmatic and non-romantic as he is.

Re the teacup: I'm still kicking myself! I am pierced by the sharp soccer cleats of regret. I think that because I ate so many cakes, half the blood left my brain and went down to my stomach to aid in the digestion process, leaving me with a temporarily significantly reduced IQ.

Why?! Why must you do this to me?! I fine just having an apple today... but noooo...now I need chocolate... >_<

You should post the video so we can see the table! :P

-Neengy

I can't believe that sugar-fiend Neengy would be satisfied with a mere apple!

My video of the dessert table is unsatisfactory, as it turns out. The lighting is bad and I swooped the camera over it too fast so everything is a little blurry. Plus there are a couple of empty platters because I got there with my camera at the tail end of the second wave.

Next time I find myself at a dessert buffet, I'll take my photos at the beginning before the beautiful set-up gets ransacked by the stampeding hordes of slavering sugar junkies. I freely admit that I am one of them, although I hope I hid my slavering discreetly behind a napkin!

My sister said it was just as well I didn't hold a teacup under the chocolate fondue because I would have ended up on Youtube!

Edited at 2011-10-26 06:24 pm (UTC)

It's true that I sometimes take a break off the sugar... :P I do actually have serious stuff to do once in a while! Bah... college!

Lol I would have helped the video of you go viral! :D "Attack of the Slathering Sugar Junkies!" Sounds like an old black and white horror movie!

-Neengy

I'm no dessert fan, but reading about the buffet made even me want something sweet. I laughed about your comment to your hubby that you had 2 forks so people wld think you were sharing. I'm a big carb eater and many have been the times when guys have looked with amazement at me and commented 'wow, you've got a good appetite!'. I usualy smile and tell them, I can eat anyone under the table.

I'm a big carb-eater too. One of my biggest daily weaknesses is bread and butter. I'm trying to eat more fiber and protein because I have fewer food cravings when I do. I tell ya, it's a damn good thing I ride a bike everywhere.

(Deleted comment)
$800 a pound??? Is it imported from another planet, or something?

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