brit_columbia (brit_columbia) wrote,

My poor husband

 I'm feeling slightly guilty because I have been difficult today. This is a notable deviation from my normal mild-mannered behaviour. You see, I'm not generally difficult --at least in my own humble opinion-- toward my husband. Apart from the fact that I don't nag, rage, mope, or complain (truly!), I also refrain from making disparaging comments about his friends, family, clothes, and choice of reading materials. Nor do I borrow his car, drag him out to look at housewares or furniture, ask him if such-and-such a garment makes me look fat, present him with large Visa bills that he is expected to pay, or expect him to notice that I changed my hair color. In short, I don't inconvenience him in any way. Except when I forget to wash the bath after shaving my stubbly legs in it, or accidentally tape Hercule Poirot over top of his one-of-a-kind Karate tape, but hey, that hasn't happened since the tumultuous first year of our marriage, so I kinda think everyone should just get over it.

No indeed. I'm really not normally troublesome. On the contrary, as a matter of fact! I'm kind, thoughtful, patient, socially skilled and able to present myself (well, subjectively, anyway) as gorgeous/glamorous given enough time with make up and flat-iron. Furthermore, I'm a good cook, and a  good sport,and so on. I have the usual long list of good points and bad points-- and the bad points are a whole nuther post, btw-- BUT.... I can say with authority that I am neither troublesome nor difficult in terms of my behavior and day-to-day actions.

But some days, nonetheless, it seems I go right off the rails, and I don't know why!
 Here is a list of my crimes today:

1. I snarled at him grumpily when he asked me to make a phone call for him. I grudgingly made the call, but continued to protest, even though the phone call was entirely necessary and benefited me as much as it did him.
2. I made him feel bad when one of his Christmas gifts to me (a blender; why, yes, I'm married) proved unsatisfactory and sprayed soup all over approximately one quarter of the kitchen, plus my hair. I shouldn't have vented quite so explicitly re my opinion of Hamilton Beach Products, but I did, and now I regret it.
3. I stole his chocolate after he went to work. He had made a laughable attempt to hide it. I didn't waste time laughing. I just ate it. He does not yet know this.
4. I went into my office to do some weekend work, got incredibly stressed out, and then vented all over him when he innocently called at exactly the wrong time just to inquire whether I would be home before he went out to his second job.

*Sigh* I feel guilty, as stated above, because I took out my frustrations on a person who (today, anyway) didn't deserve it, and it's against my personal belief system to do so. I believe that we should all carry our own load as much as possible and not make unreasonable demands on the time, patience, goodwill and resources of others, especially those whom we love.

I'll apologize to him tomorrow, I guess. By the time he gets home tonight, I'll be asleep. By the time he wakes up tomorrow, I will have gone back to work.  I'll be sure to call him when I'm sure he's awake.

But I still hate that *&^%-ing blender, and wish that a massive alien war-craft would crash into Hamilton Beach's main production warehouse and destroy all their components so that no one else will have to suffer as I have suffered!  

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