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Posting schedule and a brief complaint about the difficulties of sleeping with cats
Dee Blue waves
Hello to readers of Justice!

This post is to let you know that I'm going to post the next chapter of Justice (chapter 20) in two or three days. I think I can definitely get it up before the weekend.

I type this with difficulty, considering that several of my back muscles are all achey and knotted. And why? Well, I think you can guess from the title of this post. Cats! Gotta love 'em, can't kick 'em out of bed. Not for long, at least. They come snuggling right back. Well, maybe you have yours slightly better trained. My big darling kitty has been training me.

About a year ago, my husband and I bought a new bed. He had been pushing for a king. I said no on the grounds that it wouldn't fit in our bedroom. He said it would fit fine if we got rid of one of our dressers and gave up on using one of our closets. I asked him if he was insane. He confirmed that he wasn't and then pointed out that we needed a king because of the cat. I said we needed a queen because of the size of our bedroom. He continued to hem and haw. I produced a measuring tape and settled the issue with numbers. He subsequently bought a queen, probably because he was intimidated by the fact that his wife owns not one, but several measuring tapes (in addition to a tool box and a hammer and, believe it or not, an electric drill), whereas he came into this marriage bereft of any such manly articles.

I have had a sore back and neck ever since the bed arrived because, dammit, he was dead right about the cat.

Fluffy takes up somewhat more than a full third of the bed. My husband's broad shoulders require at least 40 percent of it. I find myself scrunched like an accordion between man and cat, with never enough room for both of my shoulders to lay themselves  flat at any one time. Fluffy sleeps in the crook of my right arm with his front paws poking into my sensitive and ticklish right armpit, and unhappily there is absolutely nowhere for my armpit to retreat to. No wonder I wake up every morning with aches and pains! No wonder I sleep badly, for that matter. No wonder I'm developing an odd nervous tic in the region of my armpits.

I met a girlfriend for tea this evening and discovered that she and her fiance and their cat all have exactly the same sleeping arrangement. Her cat, like mine, doesn't like sleeping between her and her man. As far as he is concerned, he is her cat and he wants to sleep between her and the edge of the bed. Just like Fluff.

I started to wonder how many other people have this problem. What about you guys? I know there are a lot of cat people in my readership. Do dogs do this too, or are they more reasonable?

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I sleep in a queen bed and my 8 month old kitten manages to not only take up half the bed, but proceeds to drag the blankets around till they are arranged to her satisfaction.

If I can manage to make it into bed before she does, she likes to sleep in weird positions all along my body to make it difficult to get comfortable.

And as for dogs... my 90 pound Bernese mountain dog sleeps in my mother's queen bed, on top of the pillows, leaving her plenty of room as long as she doesn't roll over in the middle of the night... otherwise she gets a face full of fur. My golden wants no part of sleeping in the bed, she rather sleep on the floor next to me, which is fine by me seeing as the 6 pound cat takes up most of the bed...

You too, eh? And yours is only a kitten, too. I'm beginning to suspect that cats are born knowing how to take over beds. Maybe your golden sleeps on the floor because she knows there's no room for her on the bed!

My cat is very much my cat, and whilst he might tolerate my other half to an extent, he refuses to share bedspace with him. If I go up to bed first, Fergus will curl up with me quite happily until Kyle joins us, then he runs off and sleeps downstairs. Likewise with laps - he'll sit with me for hours, but if Kyle tries to share the sofa, Fergus is gone!

I wish Fluffy would go sleep elsewhere when my husband comes to bed! He snuggles up to me on my husband's side of the bed, but when my husband joins us, Fluff immediately gets up and walks around the top of my head so as to get to the far side of me. (At least he doesn't step on my face, courteous and thoughtful cat that he is) I obligingly scrunch myself up into the aforementioned accordion position and lie there thinking wistfully of sleep while the two males in the bed snore happily for the rest of the night.

My cat starts out under the covers, then makes his way out to be mischievous around the house for a bit, and when I usually wake he is either between my husband and I or asleep half on top of me.

When I was little we found a stray daschund and he eventually became mine after much pouting and morose looks. He always slept in the bed with me, and from an early age I was always mindful of him. He was a miniature so he was very small and I was always afraid of rolling over him in my sleep, kicking him, or otherwise doing horrible things to him in my sleep. I've been told now that I sleep curled up in a tight ball, minimizing the space I take up on the bed, and I do not move whatsoever. Granted I have my nights where I toss and turn, but I am usually awake and plagued by an extreme case of insomnia that ,y sleeping pills can't fix.

All in all my animals love me because whatever space i don't take up on "my side" of the bed is theirs for the taking. (be advised I am only 5'2" and 125 pounds, so I don't take up that much space to begin with on the queen).

On the subject of bed sizes, I will never buy anything bigger than a queen just because sheets are so damn expensive!

Your cat must not be very big if you can handle him sleeping half on top of you. My cat is a very large creature. Sometimes I let him sleep on top of me, but not often because he's just too heavy. Besides, his legs and body are too long for my body to be a suitable mattress for him. Bits of him hang off me on either side. Plus there's the fact that after about half an hour, I can feel my lungs and other internal organs slowly collapsing under his weight. Okay, I admit I'm exaggerating there, but he's still too large a cat to sleep on top of people.

I had no idea that king sheets were so expensive! But I guess they must be since stores probably don't stock that many of them.

My cat is a Maine coon/Norwegian forest cat, so he his fairly sizable, although right now he is just a year old so nowhere near his full size. And he lays where he damn well pleases, plus my sleeping pills pretty much make it so I am dead to the world so I think he takes advantage of that, whereas my husband just shoves him off the bed.

Now I want to see a picture of your cat! I think mine may be a Norwegian forest cat, too. I know they're big cats, and so are Maine coons. They're such beautiful creatures.

It is a truth univerally acknowledged that our cats train us, not the other way around!

My cat does the same thing as yours, but with the pillow. She takes it for granted that it's *her* pillow, although sometimes she graciously shares it with me. My bed is slightly too short, though, which leads me to scrunch up, in an accordion-like manner similar to yours. But when my other cat joins in, I run into pretty much exactly the same problem as you: Cassie sleeps curled into my right side, and Custard against my left knee, and if I move even the slightest bit, they both complain at me (also, Custard chews on my feet, but I don't think your cat does that).

So, yeah, you definitely aren't alone in bed space-to-cat ratio problems! XD

LOL! No, my cat doesn't chew on my feet, thank God! If he did, I think I'd have to sleep in shoes.

This cat/bed problem is why I hesitate to get another cat. The three of us can barely fit in one bed as it is.

I had a feeling I wasn't alone. Thanks for weighing in.

My sister's cat politely sleeps at the foot of the bed...until she wants my sister to get up. Then, she crawls up to her head and starts screaming in her ear. When that fails (My sister sleeps like the dead), she smacks my sister with her little paw in the face until she wakes up. I have seen it (*coughs* video taped *coughs*) take half a dozen smacks before my sister returns to the land of the living. :)

Oh my God. Your poor sister is a victim of domestic abuse. This is pet abuse in reverse. I wonder if there is a self-help group for people who are routinely smacked around by their cats?

Does your sister know that you have this videotape? Because I'm thinking...youtube! Unless she offers you a very nice bribe, of course.

Re: Could be worse....

My friend's cat was like that. Perfectly well behaved until she wants something from you while you're asleep. Except she would lick your eyelids. Not a pleasant way to wake up.

The thought of having eyelids licked by a raspy cat tongue makes me want to drag a pillow over my face! Still, it's got to be better that repeatedly being kitty-smacked.

I met a girlfriend for tea this evening

How does your husband feel about you having a girlfriend, or does he not know about her? And you said "a girlfriend"--does that mean you have more than one? Wow--between your husband and multiple girlfriends, you are a very busy woman!

* * * * *

OK--I know you were using "girlfriend" to mean "friend who is a girl" but I always do a little mental "WTF?" whenever I hear it used that way. Until a few years ago, I never heard "girlfriend" to mean anything but "girl I am dating". So--I couldn't resist asking.

If she was that kind of girlfriend, and my hubby didn't know about her and I therefore had to schedule her into my busy life-- I certainly wouldn't have wasted any time drinking tea! Especially considering how gorgeous she is!

But all kidding aside, I am a loyal wife. And even when I wasn't a wife, I was never even the tiniest bit bi-curious. Or maybe I just never met a woman who made me curious. I'm sure Drake never met a man who made him curious until JJ bounced into his life.

Up until about 15 years ago, I would always do a little double take at the casual heterosexual use of girlfriend, too. But then I realized that the word serves a valuable purpose.

For example, if a woman says, "I'm having lunch with a friend," her friends and family members are likely to say "Oo-OOO-ooh! What kind of friend?" and then they watch her carefully as she answers to see if anything interesting and gossip-worthy is happening in her life. Likewise, if she makes the same remark to her boyfriend/husband, he is also likely to say, "Oh? Who's that?" while thinking, "Is it a guy? Is it a guy? And if so, should I be concerned?"

So, by saying "I'm having lunch with a girlfriend," the woman heads everyone off at the pass. Unless she's gay or bi and in a relationship, in which case, she gets everyone fired up to find out what's going on.

But the same thing does not apply to men. A man cannot say "I'm having lunch with my boyfriend," without everyone, even his mom, thinking that this is a roundabout way of letting them all know that he now considers himself to be gay or bi.

When I was little, my cat Scotty would sleep on my pillow and refused to leave, so my sister would come in and forcibly remove him for me. (This was later deemed "Cat Removal Service" and became a running joke in the family) He would often sneak back in in the middle of the night and I would end up using HIM as a pillow. My allergies thought this was a bad idea. To this day I have cats (when I'm at home) that take up most of the bed and force you to morph yourself around them because if you touch one, the ouch bleed starts. :P

I also have dogs that do this. WHen K.D., my dog, was younger she would sleep between my parents on their bed and in the middle of the night she would either: a) push on of them off the bed or b) steal my dad's spot completely if he got up. :P We also had a dog, Cleo, a long time ago that slept under the blankets and took up an entire pillow for herself. Talk about a dog that thinks it's human!

Why are cats so intent on taking over beds everywhere? And punishing those who try to shift them? This is maybe just a practice run for taking over the world. By then we'll all be so tired from lack of sleep that we won't have the energy to mount a resistance.

Did KD growl at your dad if he came back to reclaim his spot, or did she let it go. So far it seems as though dogs are slightly more polite and reasonable in their bed-sleeping habits than cats.

K.D.'s really sweet...I don't think she's ever growled at any member of my family. :P As for the bed, she is a yellow labrador retriever and weighs about 110 lbs. If she doesn't want to move, there's almost nothing you can do! Dad usually just crawled over her into the middle of the bed and pushed her to the edge.

I have a single bed, and in the evenings, our family cat likes to visit me in my room and lie down in the middle of my bed where she covers about half of my matress. Of course, she doesn't make the effort to crawl under the bedcover, so when I finally want to go to sleep, I have to remove a stubborn fat fluff roll which tries everything just to stay on my bed. So in the end, I end up wrapping myself around the satisfied cat. I'm always struggling to get myself in a somewhat comfortable position and to gain at least a tiny corner of my blanket (how am I supposed to pull it away from an immovable cat?). And as if that wasn't enough, our dear hairy Steffi is then looking at me like: "Wtf are you doing there?! Can't you just lay still? I want to sleep! You humans are really strange sometimes..."
But worst of all, I have to clean my bed every morning because of the big mass of fur that Steffi left there. ;D

Fluffy gives me that look, too. Kind of grumpy and irritable, like he's saying "Hey! Can't you see I'm trying to sleep? Don't be so inconsiderate." I hate it when he sleeps on top of the covers because my bedroom is quite cold in the winter and its hard to get under the covers with a big furry blob weighing them down.

Exactly! I always make the mistake to ventilate my room before going to sleep. Well, Steffi has a thick pelt, so she doesn't understand at all why I need my bedcovers. Stupid little thing! Sometimes I think about just pushing her off my bed, but she is always so sulky when I do that...

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