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PIG (for triple_p)
This ficlet was too big for the comments section of the last post, so it needed to have its own separate post!


by Brit Columbia

Fandom: FAKE
Pairing: Berkeley and Ryo
Timeline: Set in August of Dee and Ryo's first year together. It's definitely set after Volume 7 of FAKE.
Rating: Worksafe, but sensual.
If you're one of the Berkeley-haters, you should skip this.
Summary: The Commissioner and Ryo are undercover in a gay bath house.
Disclaimer: FAKE, featuring Dee, Ryo, Berkeley and JJ, was created by Sanami Matoh. I make no claim on FAKE or Ms. Matoh or any of her characters. No one paid me to write this story.
Author's Notes: This was supposed to be a very short 100 to 200-word ficlet lime for triple_p, who responded to an offer I made when I posted Chapter 23 of Justice. The first five commenters who asked me for a lime would get one if they supplied me with a word to be included in the lime. Her word was 'Pig'. She chose Berk/Ryo for her pairing. I specified that it had to be canon, and it is! Berkeley's just being rather naughty in this story. I hope you enjoy it.

No one has beta-read it, so please feel free to point out any mistakes I've missed.


Ryo looked around the foyer, hoping his discomfort wasn't evident. He had worked undercover in some interesting places, but never in a gay bath house before. He wished Dee were here. A moment later a horrible thought struck him. What if Dee had actually been here before? Dee was continuing to be annoyingly adamant in his refusal to talk about his past sex life, although it was evident from both his skill and his reputation that he had had quite a lively one.

Ryo heard the sound of a man's long groan come from somewhere down a velvet-roped corridor beside the front desk, and the sound made him flinch involuntarily. The guy behind the counter was looking at him skeptically, too. Ryo could feel his stomach starting to knot up. He hoped he wouldn't have to deal with anything too overtly inappropriate today, like an orgy. What a stressful thought.

His partner had picked a hell of a day to come down with food poisoning. Ryo hated to admit it, but he knew he would have felt ten times more confident in this club if he had Dee beside him.

And why, why, why, had Commissioner Rose, of all possible people, volunteered to come here with him? His presence alone made an already uncomfortable situation positively excruciating. Ryo had almost succeeded in talking JJ into accompanying him as a replacement for Dee, when the Commissioner had overheard them and volunteered his help instead. Really, if the Chief hadn't ordered him to investigate the seduction of minors in this place, Ryo wouldn't have considered taking the case. Or maybe he would have. Some of the minors involved were only fourteen years old. That was pretty serious.

"Hey, you. Yeah, you with the suit."

Ryo turned around to find himself face to face with a huge, slab-bodied man who was evidently what passed for security in this place. The man wore nothing more than a pair of black leather trousers and a hostile expression.

"Yes?" Ryo said mildly, hoping to avoid trouble before he had even gained entry to the main section of the bathhouse.

The man jabbed a huge finger against Ryo's hard chest. "You a cop? You a fucking pig, man? 'Cause I say you look like a pig. And we don't like pigs around here, do we Len?" He glanced at his companion, a similarly-clad man whose athletic body was whipcord thin.

Len narrowed his eyes at Ryo and shook his head. "Uh-uh. Think you're in the wrong place buddy. We ain't got no girls here."

"We're not looking for girls, are we, Ryo darling?" The Commissioner slung a possessive arm around Ryo's shoulders.

"Um, no." Ryo cursed inwardly as he felt his face heating up. Let go of me, he thought fiercely, but could not speak the words out loud as long as both bouncers had their suspicious eyes on him.

"We just want to add a little spice to our relationship," confided the Commissioner, his eyes going from one security guard to the other. "We're hoping to find an adventurous young boy or two that we can both relate to... hopefully at the same time. Do you think we might possibly be in the right establishment?" He held out his hand palm down, and Ryo observed that the corner of a bill peeked out from under it. Len shook hands with the Commissioner and the bill disappeared.

"You might be," Len said, "but I got my doubts about him." He jerked his head at Ryo. "He don't look gay to me."

"I don't see why I should have to prove..." Ryo began, but his voice trailed off when he realized that the Commissioner's hand had slid from his shoulder to the back of his neck, where it moved in a sensual, caressing motion.

"Oh, he's gay, all right," the Commissioner said affectionately. "Aren't you, darling?" He then leaned down and pressed his lips to the side of Ryo's throat. Ryo gasped and stiffened, and only the warning in the sudden tightening of the Commissioner's hand on his neck stopped him from jerking away. Ryo's face flushed deeply and he felt himself trembling slightly with nervousness. Or maybe it was frustration. Or anger. He wasn't sure. He tried to breathe normally when he felt the other man's hot tongue on his skin.

The Commissioner gave Ryo's ear a little nibble before returning his attention to the two bouncers. "My lover is a little uptight," he remarked apologetically, and then added, "He's a stockbroker, you know."

Comprehension dawned on both their faces. "Oh, that explains it then," said the bigger of the two guards. "Sorry, man. We just had to be sure you weren't a cop."

"Um, don't mention it," said Ryo faintly, uncomfortably aware that the Commissioner's hand was sliding slowly down his back, getting closer and closer to his ass. Surely the Commissioner wouldn't touch him there? God, what Dee would do if he were here! It was a good thing that Dee was at home right now, because if he had any idea of the liberties that the Commissioner was taking, he would probably do something that would end up with his being either fired or suspended. Needless to say, the undercover job would be a washout before it even started.

"Uptight, huh?" the other man snickered and caught the Commissioner's eye as his companion held the velvet rope open for them to pass. "Bet he's tight too!"

"He sure is," murmured the Commissioner as he propelled Ryo down the hallway ahead of him. He added something else in a low voice that Ryo could quite hear, but he caught the word 'virgin'. Whatever it was, it made the two security guards guffaw with laughter.

Ryo gritted his teeth and began plotting revenge.


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squeals of delight

Oh, that was perfect. Thank you so much for my naughty Rose. I can only imagine Dee's reaction when he finds out Rose was Ryo's backup. :)

You're welcome, fellow bad-Berkeley-lover!

If Dee has succeeded in keeping any food down at all, he'll probably puke it up all over again when he hears that Rose accompanied Ryo to such a place and posed as his 'lover'.

Oh Rose, you are a walking sexual harassment suit, aren't you? Dee's gonna blow an artery when he hears about this. I'm as sorry as Ryo is that JJ couldn't come instead, because JJ would just eat that place up (could probably pass as an undercover minor too), and maybe even get Ryo to loosen up in the process. Since JJ is the one major character in FAKE that's clearly not interested in pushing Ryo onto a bed, I actually think Ryo relaxes around him more than he realizes. He may be annoying, but at least he's not a walking sex machine with its target locked on Ryo's ass.

You're so right! JJ would really be the best person for this job, and JJ and Ryo would make a great team. JJ could easily handle any necessary flirting, plus, he's SO overtly gay that no one would question Ryo's orientation.

Are you back from Botcon?

Oh man I had a kool-aid grin on my face the whole time. Berkey is so naughty. I love him to no end. I can't seem to understand why people hate him and JJ. They're so lovable in their own right. I'm going to have a ball with my Berkey in my story when it's time for him to show his face.

Triple-P you're so lucky to have such a wonderful lime. I can't wait for mine to come up. I mean ice cream? What can happen with ice cream that's all limey *evil grin*.

Great job as usual, Brit.

I can't understand why people hate him, either, but some people definitely do. I think it's because he's such a bastard. But some of us happen to like bastards in our yaoi.

Oh I'm sure that there are tons of limey possibilities inherent in ice cream!

Oh! I am so behind on Justice, but this caught my eye on my flist and being a fan of Ryo/Berk fics~ this was a perfect character profile for both Ryo and Rose. I lol at this bit:
"He's a stockbroker, you know." Comprehension dawned on both their faces. "Oh, that explains it then,"
XDDD *snorts*

And poor Dee for coming down with food poisoning, but we wouldn't be getting to see our beloved Rose playing a naughty boy if Dee were there now would we! \o/

I'm going to have to catch up on Justice because I am getting Fake!fic withdrawal big time right now! I have been away from my beloved fandom for far to long (I blame it entirely on my obsession for Yokozawa & Kirishima as they have taken over my soul!)

Anjichan! Welcome back. we wouldn't be getting to see our beloved Rose playing a naughty boy if Dee were there now would we! No, we certainly wouldn't. Dee would be watching Rose like a hawk. In fact, Dee would have pointed out that the Commissioner is no good for undercover work in NYC because he frequently gives press conferences and has his face on TV.

Just so you know, Justice chapters are shorter now. I cut them in half in the interests of posting more frequently.

Move over, Yokozawa & Kirishima! Give a corner of Anji's soul back to Fake.

Thanks for commenting!

**Uptight Ryo**

Am I the only one who thinks an uptight and nervous Ryo in this fic is delicious!

The Commissioner adds more spice to the story, and honestly, I love a story with a good chase in it (more resistance the better). Not that Ryo will give in, ever, but it is just glorious to read.

Definitely the actions of a true opportunist.

Lucky triple_p

Have a great day!

Tripple_p and I are soul sisters on the subject of Berkeley. We love to see him being bad and we enjoy Ryo's confused reactions to him

If there's one thing Berkie does well, it's add spice to Ryo's life. It's not a pleasant kind of spice, but it's sort of excitingly stressful. Also, just the thought of Berkeley looking lustfully at Ryo causes Dee's testosterone level to hit the ceiling, not that it was low to begin with.

I LOVE love triangles!

Since all my thoughts on this story are already expressed in the comments above, I'm not going to repeat them all again. Just one more thing: I'd love to read a prequel to PIG :D
It happens rarely enough that Berkeley can get close to Ryo without getting slapped by him or by Dee. This unusual chance has to be enjoyed to the fullest! I'm asking myself how far the Commish would dare to go this time before Ryo finally starts fighting back!

Well, Berkie's pretty smart. He knows that if he's not careful, Ryo will snap and punch him. He'll therefore be as cunning as possible for as long as possible.

The awful thing about my particular set of plotbunnies, is that every time I write a short story, it immediately becomes part of a longer one in my head. If I had time to write this 'undercover in a gay bath house' story, Pig would have been the second chapter.

I don't have time to write this as a long story, but later on, Ryo does find a way to push Berkeley into as ice bath, fully-clothed of course!

I wish there was a way to buy time! There are so many people who are bored to death every day, so why can't they sell their time to those who need it? It's just not fair!
But maybe I shouldn't complain so much about it, we can't change it anyway...
Incidentally, your last sentence made my day! Haha, I can imagine that scene so well! I just hope Berkeley won't catch a cold. He would deserve it, of course, but somehow I just can't hate him, I don't know why...
*pictures the Commish in tight wet clothes* ...Oh, alright, that's why. ;D

I couldn't agree more about buying time. I can NEVER understand people who are bored and want to kill time. I'm never at a loss for something to do. The only times I'm bored is when I have to do something boring at work, or attend a boring meeting. If it were possible to buy time, I certainly would.

I'm picturing the Commish in tight wet clothes right along with you! His nipples are stiff, too. And two burly bath attendants are hurrying to his assistance. He might get felt up some...

It's especially annoying when a friend calls me in the middle of a busy school week and says: "Hey, can you tell me something? Anything? I'm so bored, you know..."
*facepalm* And I'm like: Dude, unlike you, I HAVE something to do, AND I'm not suddenly your personal entertainer just because you have nothing better to do!
But of course, I don't say that aloud when I want to keep my friends...

And while Berkeley is crawling out of the water again, Ryo stands satisfied next to that ice bath, trying hard not to laugh. Haha, that image is simply hilarious!

**Uptight Ryo**

Definitely will second AwieAtti comment - would love to see how far Mr Rose will go before Ryo puts his foot down!

Great job and love the idea!!!


Hi FM! Rose wouldn't go too far unless he was prepared to get punched as the price he had to pay for what he wanted to do.

He doesn't want to get punched by Ryo. Ryo's got a pretty lethal right jab, as he well knows.

But he'll exploit the 'undercover gay couple' plan for all it's worth, and will get his hands, and maybe even his mouth, on Ryo a few more times before the day is out!

(Deleted comment)
Hello Twiyah! Is being in the delivery rooms putting you off having babies someday, or making you want one?

Yes, it's so much easier writing something short and simple without any of my self-imposed convoluted plots to keep track of.

My fitness is really suffering nowadays because there's too much sitting in my new job and often I don't make it to the gym. Like last night, for example. Hopefully I'll get there tonight. I'm still riding my bike, though, so that's at least something.

(Deleted comment)
Rose is a truly predatorial seme. Thanks for letting me know you loved this little ficlet.


I kept expecting Rose to try to play it dom/sub and he was making Ryo come there.

If they do find child prostitution going on the bad guys better watch out. Even without the sublimating his desire to punch his boss Ryo would put them in a world of pain.

Oooh, what an exciting mental picture! Rose as dom and Ryo as reluctant sub.

Awesome! ^^

Oh, Ryo :')

I really liked this ficlet! ^^

It's fun to see Ryo's internal rage!

Just one thing:

I think you mean "Ryo couldn't quite hear, but he caught the word 'virgin.', not "Ryo could quite hear, but he caught the word 'virgin.'"

Thanks for reminding me of Pig! I had almost forgotten about it. Maybe I should go put it up at fan fiction dot net.

Thanks for observing the positioning of my final single quotation mark. The way I've done it is the British style (as per Eats, Shoots and Leaves), which I prefer over the American style, but should really get out of the habit of using. In the British style, when quotation marks are being used to offset a word or a phrase, you can put the final one inside the period/question mark/exclamation point. The reason I like the British style is that sometimes I have an offset word at the end of a piece of dialogue, so must also accommodate the closing dialogue quotation marks. If I have a period in between the final single quotation and the final double quotations, then they're not all squished together.

But I really ought to pick one style and stick with it instead of mixing American and British. Besides when I eventually get published, I'll most likely be writing for an American market. Most of my current readers are American!

Thank you for reading and commenting.

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