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Ryo's anger
Well, I started a detox program yesterday and am I ever discombobulated today. I can't wake up, my brain won't work, I missed a deadline, I have a massive amount of work to do that I can't being myself to care about, and I have a headache, muscle tension and assorted aches and pains. I guess all the populations of bacteria that normally enjoy happy and productive lives in my body, demanding sugar, fat, and chemicals and receiving bounteous quantities of each, are all undergoing a terrible shock. Their crops have failed, their children are dying, their civilizations are crumbling, and therefore their world-- my body-- is in a state of upheaval. Well, not literally. Unlike my cat, I am not a puker. But I'm dizzy, grumpy, and sleepy and just want to sit in a dark room, in total solitude, glowering at nothing in particular. I just realized that last sentence contained several of the seven dwarves.

I couldn't sleep at all last night, despite not having had anything interesting to eat or drink all day yesterday.

I really, really want chocolate, but all my favorite foods are off the table for the next two weeks. However, I do have a box of Belgian chocolates that I bought on my business trip last week that I am hanging onto as a kind of reward for when the detox is done. Oh, go ahead and laugh. I know what you're thinking. But come on, you guys ought to know me by now. No mere two-week detox program will ever magically cure me of my chocolate addiction-- and nor should it! What I'm hoping for is that when the detox is over, I'll have regained a measure of self-control, and instead of devouring the whole box of chocolates in a single sitting, I'll be able to make it last three. Or two. Certainly not four.

Thank you for listening to me whine. I'll probably start feeling really good in a couple of days. The first three days are always hard.

Edit: Aaaand... my shoes hurt! They're incredibly cute, though. I guess I can't blame that on the detox.

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I barely made my connecting flight in Zurich, Switzerland because I was buying chocolate in the gift shop. So worth it. Good luck on your detox! You're stronger than I am.

LOL! Chocolate almost made you miss your flight. Well, I'm glad it didn't.

We'll see how strong I am if I make it to Day 3...

Was the bacteria really so bad?

Oh, man, I was out of control. Too much sugar and bad stuff gives me acid reflux and affects my sleep. Well, my sleep patterns are always bad, but they improve significantly if I can lower the amount of sugar-consuming yeast-beasties in my gut. It's only Day 2 and the reflux has already disappeared. I know I'll feel a lot better if I can get through the next 12 days.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... another box of chocolatey sweeeeeets!

I'm going to have to clobber you with my detox-box.

Or... you could save yourself by tossing those chocolates in my path?

Wow, that sounds intense! I could insert a lengthy rant here on how easy it is to eat wrong, especially when one is twelve kinds of too busy, but, well, you probably know a lot more about the actual biology of it than I do, so I'll just applaud your determination to stick with it, both through the physical ickiness and the intense cravings for all the unhealthy foods that are the most delicious.

And, of course, I hear ya on the chocolate thing - a friend of mine gave me a bar of roseberry chocolate (raspberry, rosehips, and dark chocolate) on Saturday, and it's already gone. XD

As detox programs go, this one is not as harsh as some. At least I don't have to drink lemon juice and cayenne pepper. I'm allowed to eat all the fish, brown rice and vegetables I want, so I won't need to go hungry. It's just that brown rice is so uninspiring that I'd rather not bother. I'm allowed to eat small amounts of chicken, eggs and beef, but it can't be processed and ought to be organic, if possible.

My slow cooker cooked a chicken-veggie stew for me tonight, but it switched to warm-mode at 7 PM and is waiting for me to come home and add peas, corn, and ground almonds to give it a non-dairy creaminess. I'm still at work, you see, and I'm obviously goofing around on LJ when I should be returning the last of my phone messages.

I need to get an icon of a slow-cooker.

Way to go Brit! That detox does sound intense. I hope you start feeling better soon. We are all cheering for you!

This day has been a real struggle, let me tell you. I sure hope I can sleep tonight because I have a really early start tomorrow. Thanks for the encouragement! Your icon is perfect for the occasion.

Go go Brit! I'm sure you'll make it! :)
But why in the world do you do this to yourself right before christmas? :o (Will you bake christmas cookies out of fish, rice and chicken? I'm just curious...)

It's hard to choose the right time for a detox. There's always something on the social horizon that wants to stop me. I've been thinking about doing this for a month or so, but first there was a dinner party at our house. Then there was a dinner party at our friends' house. Then there was a longstanding pizza date with a woman I work with. Then there was my business trip last week. Finally, I just seized the moment! I've got a restaurant groupon expiring on Dec. 19th, so I have to be finished in time to use that. On the other hand, if things are going really well at that time, I might just kiss the groupon good-bye and keep on going for a while longer.

If I were a cat, I would bake Christmas cookies out of fish, rice and chicken. But since I'm not a cat and I'm pretty sure no one would eat them, I'm going to save my energy. Not even for Fluffy, because he wouldn't like them, picky feline eater that he is.

Good luck! I know from experience it's well worth the effort :)

Thanks! It's now the morning of the third day, and I already feel more energetic and mentally sharper then I did yesterday, despite having only gotten 4 hours of sleep.

Thank God the Wild Rose program allows coffee.

Been there done that

Moon here--You managed to make that whole first paragraph a work of art, Brit. Damn you are one helluva writer.

I did the south beach diet years ago. While it is not as strict as a detox it's the same principle. You are riding your body of it's addiction to sugars. And not just in candy bars but in breads, dairy,fruits, and even some vegetables.

I went on weight watchers too and lost 30 pounds a year or two ago....Yup most of it is back....I have no vices but food (fanfic porn too haha!), I don't gamble smoke drink or get high. And I have an adorable husband who loves me no matter what I look like, which kind of kills my motivation to STICK to a damn diet plan. I know you are not supposed to diet for anyone but yourself though.

I am a grandmother now and when my little grandchild sits on my lap, all my lumps are the perfect pillow for her little head. So I guess at my age they're there for a reason, haha!I kid you not, for her, I am as comfy as an overstuffed couch!

I am sure you will be fabulously gorgeous no matter if you are toxed or detoxed. High five to you for taking the plunge and doing this. Please update how it goes,maybe you will motivate me to try too!-Moontatoo

Re: Been there done that

Hello Moon,

My whiny first paragraph was a work of art? Well. You just gave me a new reason to love you! Not that I needed one.

I just read it again and felt sort of sorry for the bacteria. I'm killing them just before Christmas.

I recommend this program I'm on. It's called The Wild Rose D-tox http://wildroseproducts.com/en-CA and I'm never hungry on it because you can have lots of vegetables, including potatoes, which are very filling. I love vegetables and they already form a major part of my diet.

Butter is the only dairy product allowed. Even though it's not on the list, it's in the Q & A.

Best of all, this plan allows coffee! And no part of the literature indicates that horrible concoctions of lemon juice and cayenne pepper must be consumed, although a person could if they actually wanted to.

The only downside is that the food gets monotonous after a while, and I start to crave strong flavors. It never seems to take me much time to resume my wicked ways when it's over.

I remember how my sister, before she had kids, ate a mostly low-fat diet. After several months even the thought of butter or oily food disgusted her. I was kind of envious, because I don't think butter could ever disgust me. Ever. I've been having a torrid love affair with it for as long as I can remember.

How long did you do the South Beach Diet for? Did you suffer? Or do you remember it with fond nostalgia?

Thanks for the vote of gorgeousness. Even though I have gained weight, I actually do feel gorgeous nowadays. I keep pointing it out to my husband. It's the only way to prod that non-romantic man into giving me compliments.

I know what you mean about motivation. When I was younger, vanity was a great motivator. It was way more effective for me than health or fitness goals! I wasn't thinking about heart health or cholesterol in those days-- I was thinking about short skirts and midriff-baring tops, or fitting into my tiny ski pants! I think I still have those tiny ski pants somewhere.

I've been married for 13 years now, and my husband loves me no matter what I weigh or whether or not I'm wearing mascara.

I hope that when the detox plan is over (only 12 days, unless I feel strong enough to continue longer) I will keep being at least semi-moderate in my food choices. That late night chocolate habit of mine has got to stop.

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