My next step is to attempt to put it on MediaMiner, but I'm dreading that because MM's site is so difficult to do anything on.
I'm now editing this post just over two years later because back when I first wrote this story and posted the link to AFF, I didn't know how to do LJ cuts. Well, the times they have a-changed! Here it is.
Ryo's Journal (Part One): Keep It Down
Notes: Sexual acts between two men in a loving relationship.
Spoilers: All 7 volumes
Timing: Set in Early October of their first year together
Summary: Dee and Ryo get sexy at the 27th Precinct.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the property of Sanami Matoh. I am not making any money from this.
Authors notes: This was my first foray into first person, back before I knew how many people hate FP, for reasons I am totally unable to fathom to this day. Give it a try anyway! If you like my other fics, you'll probably like this one too. One-shot, complete. In the future I’ll write at least one more installment of Ryo’s journal. To the purists: I did give some thought to the 'none was/none were' issue, but in the end decided that since this story is told in Ryo's voice, it may not necessarily be perfect.
Thank you to Blue Simplicity for the helpful beta-work.
Keep It Down
Dee and I have been working third shift for a couple of weeks now, which is pretty unusual for us, and the lack of sleep is really starting to grind us down. At this particular time we're working on a series of nightclub shootings, which are looking gang-related. This means we often have to start work two or three hours before the scheduled start of our shift. The people we need to question are keeping late hours, and therefore, so must we. I really wish we could crack this case and get back on first or second shift again. I feel out of step with the rest of the world. The only good thing about third shift is that I get home in time to get Bikky up for school, and we're usually able to have dinner and spend a few hours together in the evenings before I have to go to work. I only hope he's not wandering around by himself late at night, as he has been known to do in the past. I can't very well phone him at midnight and say, "Are you sure you're at home, in bed and asleep?"
Another reason, apart from lack of sleep, that Dee and I are both getting a little frustrated is because it seems as though not only are we working all the time, but we're never alone for longer than a few minutes. Almost everyone in the whole C.I. division is pulling together on this case, except for Ted and Marty, who are busy on a big case of their own. Someone's always popping their head into our office to either ask for or provide new information on the shootings. The commissioner alone came in to see us four times last night.
On his final visit, which was not long before 6 a.m., he asked to see what I was working on, so I vacated my place in front of the computer and he took my chair. I was standing behind him, pointing out details in one of the pictures of the latest crime scene, when I heard Dee's chair slide back and he came over to look, too. Dee mentioned something about the angle of the body, and then he began stroking his hand slowly up and down my back. I responded instantly -- I couldn't help it. I think I must have made some small sound, because the commissioner said, "Hmm? What was that, Ryo?" and then I had to quickly think of something to say. I tried to get Dee to stop, but as I was kind of caught between Dee at my back and the commissioner in front of me, I couldn't get away. Dee reached forward and pointed to the screen. His body pressed lightly up against mine. Was he crazy? I thought Rose would be bound to notice, but he didn't turn his head.
"The gun is on the wrong side of the body," Dee said. "According to Umberton's daughter, he was left-handed."
Rose was interested. "Are you sure it just didn't happen to fall there when he was shot? Or perhaps the force of the bullet spun Umberton around before he fell."
"Nope," Dee said, and now I felt his other hand on the back of my thigh. "According to Perez, Umberton fired two more rounds from down on the ground. Something's not right."
"Exactly," Rose said, and then he turned around to look at us. Fortunately, Dee had anticipated that, and had melted subtly back.
Rose continued. "Do you think Perez could be - What's the matter Ryo? You look somewhat feverish. Are you feeling all right?"
I managed to stammer something about being a little under the weather, and the commissioner looked at me all concerned and actually told me to go home an hour early!
"Laytner can finish this paperwork up for you," he said. "Get a little rest. We need you back here in good form tomorrow. I feel like we're getting close to a breakthrough in this case."
I wished I could have turned around to see the look on Dee's face at the mention of paperwork. Instead I just protested about how it wasn't necessary for me to leave early, that I wanted to get the files put back properly anyway, and an hour would go by in no time at all.
Rose got out of my chair and faced me with a sigh. "You're such a soldier, Ryo. I wish I had ten more like you." He gave Dee a meaningful glance, and headed toward the door. "Go over Perez' statement one more time, Laytner. It might be necessary to interview him again tomorrow. Let me know if you've got anything."
No sooner was the door closed behind him, than I was opening my mouth to give Dee a piece of my mind. I never got the chance. He fixed me with that intense green gaze of his and pushed me backwards until I felt my shoulder blades thump against the door.
"Dee! What the hell are you doing?"
"Shut up and kiss me before anyone else walks in here," he growled against my lips. "Oh, and keep it down."Then his mouth was claiming mine in that wonderful way he has of being tender and demanding at the same time. I don't know why, but I can never resist him when he does that to me. His hands were roaming over my body, continuing their earlier exploration. I melted and clung to him, moaning into his mouth while he sucked on my tongue.
After a minute, he pulled back and chuckled huskily. "I thought I told you to keep it down," he said, nudging his hip against my growing erection.
"I can't, you bastard. Why do you always have to do this to me at work?"
Just then, the door jolted against my back as someone tried to open it.
"Hey you two, what's wrong with the door?" It was JJ's voice.
My eyes flew to Dee's in alarm. His hand shot out and snatched my coat off the rack next to the door. He thrust it into my arms, and pulled the door open.
"Yo, JJ, what the hell do you want?"
JJ eyed us both suspiciously. I was glad I had the coat to hold over my crotch.
"I just wanted to cross-reference the file on the Harring Corners robbery with the Umberton hit because it looks like ballistics got us a match. Are you guys going somewhere?"
"Not me, but Ryo is. He's not feeling well, so the commish is sending him home early. I'm gonna finish up around here."
JJ peered at me. "Yeah, you do look a little strange," he said. "Well go home and take care and all that, and...don't worry, Dee-Sempai, I'll give you a hand with all this paperwork it looks like you're getting stuck with!" He laughed irritatingly. Sometimes that JJ really tries my patience.
"Uhh, thanks, but don't you have your own work to do? And your own partner?"
"Oh, I'm sure he can spare me for an hour or so. Besides, I'd like to discuss these two cases with you. It's always such a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Sexy! I think we'd make a pretty good team, don't you?"
"Not this side of hell," said Dee flatly. He grabbed his smokes from the pocket of his coat, and picked up a file from the corner of his desk. "I'm going down to the street with Ryo. The Umberton file is somewhere on my desk if you want to borrow it. Make sure I get it back, though."
He followed me through the door and then said over his shoulder, "If you want to get started on that paperwork on Ryo's desk, be my guest. I'll be back up in a while when I've had a smoke."
I felt rather than saw JJ practically explode with happiness.
"YOU'VE GOT IT, MR. PERFECT! See? I always knew you needed me!" He scurried back into the office to begin organizing paperwork for his hero.
"He's probably going to jump you the minute you get back," I muttered resentfully at Dee as we headed down the corridor.
"Yeah, that'd probably be very true if I had any intention of going back in," Dee smirked, and waved a bound manila folder at me. "But I plan on being quite busy elsewhere until it's quitting time."
"What's that you got there?"
"Perez' statement, dork. I'll find myself a nice little hiding place to go over it in, but I've got a couple more important things to do first."
"Like what, for example?"
"You'll find out when we get downstairs."
"Dee!" I warned. "You'd better not be planning what I think you're planning. It's not going to be quiet down there, you know. People are coming and going all the time, even at six a.m."
"Ryo, Ryo, Ryo. Why do you always think the worst of me? Even if my intentions are pure, you always act like I'm up to something, and then I end up getting ideas that weren't even there in the first place, and I think I have to go ahead and try something just so you won't be disappointed!"
I gave this some thought. Maybe he had a point. We had been together long enough by this time for me to figure out that Dee's opportunistic-slacker side was just as strong as his horn-dog side. Perhaps he just wanted an excuse to come down to the street and grab a smoke. It was possible that my expectations were, in part, creating his bad behavior. Hmmm...I looked at him uncertainly.
As we went down the stairs together, the early morning light coming through the high-set stairwell windows showed me all too clearly the fatigue on his face, and I immediately berated myself for suspecting him. I remembered that, unlike me, Dee usually had trouble getting to sleep in the daytime. Napping was never a problem, but real slumber seemed to be something he could only do when it was dark. He looked like a man who needed to sleep for a week, not a man with mischief on his mind. I felt a rush of affection and a strong desire to just hold him and watch over him while he slept.
"Dee," I began.
"What are you doing when you get off work?"
"Well, you look really tired..."
"Me? Tired? Nah! After work I'm thinking of going for a nice energizing jog in the park, repainting my entire apartment, and then if I have any energy left after that, I'll change the oil in my car. You?"
I replied in the same spirit.
"Me? Well, I thought I'd cook a week's worth of meals and freeze them, take my suit to the drycleaners, and then if I have any energy left after that, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come over and fall asleep --JUST sleep-- with me at my place."
"Just...sleep?" He affected a disgusted tone and fumbled for his cigarettes.
"Yes, just sleep," I said firmly. "That other naughty stuff can wait until our pace is a little less brutal. The important thing for right now is getting some rest, and...and being together."
We went through the security gate side by side, and then suddenly we were standing in the pale dawn light of the outside world. The sounds of the street and our busy precinct suddenly intruded into the little bubble of privacy that I hadn't even been aware had been around us since we'd left JJ in our office.
I glanced in the direction of the nearest subway station, and then at my watch. The next train was in 10 minutes. I'd make it, if I hurried.
Dee was trying to light a cigarette, but there was a chilly breeze that kept blowing out his lighter. Instinctively, I added one of my hands to the shelter of his, and watched with a guilty satisfaction as his cigarette caught and he took a deep drag of the smoke.
This is one of my many dark little secrets: I like watching Dee smoke. I know it's not good for his health, and I would be happy if he stopped, but the way his lips fasten around his cigarette...the way he looks down at it all intently while he's lighting it, and then up at me from under his lashes with a kind of sensual fulfillment once he's sucking the smoke in...I can't really explain. I don't know why it turns me on, but it does. I'll never tell him this, because he really should quit.
"Well, are you coming over or not?" I enquired, but there wasn't any real doubt in my mind.
Dee took a second drag and exhaled off to the side, away from my face. "Whadda YOU think, Ryo? Nothing --and I mean nothing-- is more important to me than spending time with you. If you say we spend our time cleaning, okay, I'm there. Cooking, fine. Just gimme one of your stupid aprons. Going over defunct old files, doing laundry, whatever. I'll do anything, even 'just sleeping', as long as I can do it with you."
As usual I was torn between pleasure and annoyance at Dee's somewhat caustic way of expressing devotion. I asked him what was so stupid about wearing an apron, and reminded him that not all of those files had been defunct. A couple of them had, in fact, contained valuable information which we wouldn't have gotten if we hadn't spent a couple of hours going through them! I was prepared to continue in this vein, but my voice trailed away as I became aware that he was grinning at me. He was pushing my buttons again. I couldn't help grinning back.
"Okay, what time can I expect you?"
Even though he had a perfectly good, and as far as I knew, working, watch on his right wrist, he chose to pick up my wrist and look at my watch. I looked around nervously, but no one seemed to have noticed.
"I'll be there in a little less than two hours," he said.
"Okay, I'll try to stay awake until you get there," I smiled at him, and then dropped my voice. "I want to fall asleep with my arms around you."
"Damn, then I'll have to make sure I call you every 15 minutes just to keep you awake!"
"I'm sure Bikky will take care of keeping me awake," I said wryly. "He won't be leaving for school until 8 a.m."
"Well then, I'll wait till the brat's out the door before I show up. Hey," he added. "I know you gotta catch a train, but you wanna come and say hi to Henry for half a sec? He's the new surveillance guy. Transferred over from the 18th."
"Well, maybe." I looked doubtfully at my watch again. "If it'll only take a minute, I don't mind welcoming a new transferee."
"C'mon," Dee said over his shoulder, as he headed toward an unmarked surveillance van. He knocked on the back of it. "Yo! Henry, my man."
There was no reply. "Um, maybe he's not in there right now," I ventured.
"Sure he is," Dee said. "He told me he'd be out here training at 5:30 a.m. Oh, hey, maybe that's him over there." He nodded towards the front steps, where a few guys were now standing. I looked, but I knew them all. None were new, and none were named Henry.
"Dee, I--" but the back door of the van was suddenly open and Dee was climbing inside, calling out a cheerful greeting to Henry, who seemed to be in there after all.
"Ryo! Come in here for a sec, there's someone I'd like you to meet."
He pulled me into the back of the van, and as my eyes registered that it was empty, Dee yanked the door shut behind me. I stared at him in astonishment, quickly putting two and two together. Of course. He'd been planning this all along. To think I'd been feeling bad about always accusing him of duplicity! I was momentarily speechless.
Dee was suddenly on his knees in front of me, his amused eyes just about level with mine. He was chuckling to himself, no doubt at my stunned expression.
"Dee Laytner, this is the LAST time I fall for one of your tricks!" I informed him. "The last time, do you hear me?"
"I believe you said that LAST time, 'Ryo McLean'," he said, mimicking my aggrieved tone. He brought a hand to the side of my face, and his eyes flickered hungrily to my mouth. "In fact, you'll probably say that next time, too."
His lips and tongue were imbued with the bitter tang of tobacco, but it was cancelled out by the sudden sensory whirl I experienced at his nearness and the all-encompassing warmth of his body as it pressed against mine. I melted under the power of his kiss, as I had so many times before. One large hand gripped my right buttock and hauled my crotch forward to rub against his, while his tongue worked its magic inside my mouth. All of my protests were forgotten, and my desire ignited in response to him.
"Dee..." I whispered shakily. "Why here? Why now? You could have waited...ohhh..." He had transferred his mouth to my throat, where his teeth and lips did things that sent tremor after tremor through my body.
"Well," he murmured between soft bites, "You did say 'just sleep'."
"Y-yeah, but--" I suddenly cried out as he bit me harder.
"Shh, baby," he whispered. "I'm gonna get you all hot and make you come, but you gotta keep it down." He began loosening my tie and tugging open the buttons at the top of my shirt. Before I knew it, I felt myself being lowered to the rough carpet on the floor of the van, and my shirt was half off me. I felt my nipples being pinched, licked and bitten gently, and my chest felt cool where the cold air met the faint trail of his saliva. I clutched at him and pulled his weight down onto me. He felt so good, so alive and strong.
"Dee," I whispered again, and he raised his head in response and looked at me. "Are we safe here? I mean...is anyone likely to suddenly come in?"
"Nah," he grinned, his teeth gleaming whitely in the darkness of the van's interior. "Henry and I have the only two keys, and he's not due on duty until 7:00 a.m. We've got about 45 minutes; thirty if you wanna play it safe."
"Thirty minutes is more time than we've had alone together in days," I whispered, and pulled his face down toward mine for another kiss. This time, I took charge, flicking my tongue over his lips, and then sending it inside his mouth to explore and take. I was torn between fear of discovery and excitement at the illicit and risky nature of what we were doing. I would never have done anything like this if it weren't for Dee. I could feel his erection growing against my thigh. After a minute I broke the kiss so we both could catch our breath.
"Dee," I murmured against his neck. "I want...I want to make you come, too..."
He made a strangled sound and slowly ground his cock against me.
"...but you're gonna have to keep it down, Dee, okay?" I couldn't help snickering a little.
"Yeah, you're not gonna be laughing in a minute," he warned, as he unfastened my pants and dragged them off me. When he pulled my boxers down, my erection just kind of jumped into his hand, and my excitement jumped to a whole new level. Dee began slowly jacking me, and as he did that, he looked into my eyes and told me exactly what he wanted to do to me. He knows that gets me going. Pretty soon, I was writhing against him and trying to push my hips up against his hand. When he finally lowered his head in the direction of my penis, however, I stopped him. I had another idea.
It was cold, so although we were naked from the waist down, we had kept our jackets and shirts on but left them open for access. Dee's wonderful body was really warm, as usual, and I reveled in the way it felt under my hands. I pushed him down on his back and straddled him so that I was facing his crotch.
I got on top because I prefer the top position in 69. It's harder to control how much cock goes down your throat when you're on the bottom, and since Dee's better at that than me, I thought he should be on the bottom. I nibbled on his hipbones, working my way gradually to my target. He was making little sounds and thrusting his hips up helplessly toward me, begging me without words to lick or suck him. I resolutely ignored this, and continued my slow lovemaking. I did, however, let my hair fall across his engorged member, back and forth, a couple of times, just to see him twitch. When I was finally ready to take it into my mouth, I inhaled deeply, loving the smell of the thick, tufty dark hair that his erection sprang from. It was pure, concentrated, sexual Dee, and it made me dizzy with desire. Up until that point, he had been caressing my penis with his hands, rubbing it against his face, and letting his tongue slide sideways to lick at it, but he hadn't yet taken it into his mouth. Now he did, all at once, and if my own mouth hadn't been full, I'm sure the noise I made would have betrayed our presence to those outside. After a couple of minutes we found our rhythm. It wasn't the best blowjob I'm capable of, but it's so very hard to concentrate on efficiently giving pleasure when your own body is being driven wild with it at the same time. I must have been doing all right though because before long, Dee was giving every sign of a man rapidly approaching his peak. Every time he moaned with his mouth full, it sent extra vibrations of pleasure tingling along the sensitive nerves of my cock. The tempo of his movements began to increase, and the muscles of that beautiful body under me began to tense up until he was like a rock hard statue, but a warm and mobile one. I gasped around his cock and moaned onto it myself and rocked my own hips deeper into his throat. Our movements became more frantic, more driven, and then I heard/felt Dee make a series of urgent noises against the hyper-sensitive skin of my member. Thinking he was perhaps choking, I started to pull out, but his hands quickly came up to my buttocks and drew me back down into his mouth. He sucked me in deep, rapid strokes, breathing as I went out, moaning as I went back in. Oh God, I couldn't stand it much longer! It felt so amazing and so right, and then suddenly his cock was bucking and swelling in my mouth, trying to get in deeper and I felt him erupt at the back of my throat. I almost choked, but got it under control and swallowed it down. The salty taste and the texture of his hot, sticky seed and the forbidden naughtiness of doing this in a police van on police property suddenly hit me all at once. As Dee swallowed my whole length yet again, with his tongue working up and down the extent of my cock inside his mouth, and his lips squeezing it at its base, I knew my own eruption was imminent. It built inside me, and I wriggled and pressed frantically against him and into him. When he fondled my heavy, tightened balls and ran his fingers over the crack of my ass, I lifted my head off him and exploded inside his throat, and for long moments everything went white.
I returned to my senses and gradually became aware of voices right outside the van.
"Did you just hear something, Jake?"
"It sounded like a cry of pain or something."
Dee was lying very still. I could feel his heart beating against me -- or was it mine beating against him? I didn't know whether it was from the orgasm or the fear of discovery. I started to rise, but Dee's hands came up and stopped me. "Stay still," they seemed to say.
"Which way did it come from?"
'Well, you know, it seems crazy, but it sounded like it came from inside this van."
"No way, man, no one could get in there. These suckers are locked up tight every night."
"Well, let's try it and see."
I closed my eyes in terror, abjectly hoping that Dee had locked the door behind us.
He had. They tried the back door, and then the front doors, but none of them opened.
"It was just your imagination, man. Don't sweat it."
"Maybe. I dunno. Oh, look, here comes Henry. He's early."
Dee had not moved a muscle while the men outside were trying to open the doors, but at the mention of Henry's name, a sudden jolt went through his body and he frantically patted my thigh to move. Looking anxiously at each other, we quickly pulled on our pants and buttoned up our shirts.
"You go out the front door, passenger side," Dee whispered into my ear, giving me a kiss on the cheek and a little push. "I'm gonna create a diversion."
"What? Dee, no, you'll--"
"Just trust me, okay?"
I did as he said, because, quite frankly, I was too afraid to do otherwise. As I slipped out the door, I heard his voice behind me, saying loudly, "Shit, Henry, can't a guy hide from the commish around here without some keener like you showing up fucking early?"
"Whoa! Laytner, you scared the shit outta me!"
There was a burst of raucous laughter behind me as I hurried away. As usual, Dee was working the crowd, naturally assuming his rightful place at the center of any gathering. I wondered how many times he had 'created a diversion' for someone else's protection. Most likely, he did it as a necessity to protect himself from the fallout of his own risky behavior. And his risky behavior was becoming my risky behavior. I pulled out my cell phone to give Bikky a wake-up call as I walked to the subway. My God, the cell phones! What if either mine or Dee's had rung while we were inside the van? I couldn't believe we had been so careless! I boarded the train, shaking my head. I also couldn't believe I had actually just done something I could have been fired for. It was very, very exciting, but I decided it must never happen again.
Our little adventure in the surveillance van happened this morning. I wanted to get this down in my journal in case the details of this amazing day ever fade from my memory. Someday, I'll be old and grey, and hopefully Dee will still be right here beside me. When that time comes, I'll be glad that I kept this journal of the kind of things we got up to in our youth together.
Dee said once that there's a wild, sexual animal that sleeps inside me, and that his goal in life is to wake it up as often as possible. Well, it was still awake, and quite ravenous, actually, when he arrived at my place at ten after eight this morning. I dragged him inside and practically ripped his clothes off. We spent most of the morning making passionate love, and then slept the dead sleep of the truly exhausted. When Bikky tapped on the door at 6 pm looking for supper, Dee was still in my arms.
It's eight p.m. now, and I've just gotten off the phone with the Chief. He called with a lead we should follow up downtown. Apparently, Umberton had a sometime girlfriend, and we'll probably find her at The Red Box, but we don't have to show up there until about ten p.m.
Bikky and I are quietly watching TV together. He grumbled a bit about having to keep the volume down, but I don't want to wake Dee up. He's still asleep, which I'm really glad about. In a little while, I'll get him out of bed and give him some dinner. I'm looking forward to kissing him awake.