In response to A2M4snj who left me that nice review on AFF: I don't know if it's possible to keep it a secret. So far I've managed to keep my Yaoi obsession a secret from everyone in my non-online life for a year. Sooner or later they'll find out, but it will probably be due more to carelessness on my part than from any great feats of sleuthing by anyone in my social circle. Here are several tips for those who need to keep the lid on their interest in Yaoi :
2. Keep your real life and your online life separate. If you confide to anyone in your actual community or family that you have an interest in Yaoi, then there's always a chance that they'll tell someone who'll mention it to someone else and then it might get back to someone whom you would rather keep all this a secret from. There are no real secrets among families and groups of friends. They often know each other's secrets, but can't let on to knowing because then the person who blabbed to them is going to get in trouble. At any time your cover could be blown by the person who knows. If you want to discuss FAKE and other shonen-ai, Hentai, or yaoi, do it online with like minded people. Never tell anyone in your real life your pen name or online identity. Even if you have, don't worry because they've probably forgotten. But it's best not to do it in the first place. Or give them a bogus one and let them waste time searching online if they're going to be sneaky about it.
3. If you share a computer with roommates or family members, don't store your files on the hard drive if you can possibly avoid it. Someone might accidentally open something you've written. Alternatively, you could get a gmail account that is separate from your usual correspondence and store all your files online. That way they're accessible from any computer and no one can stumble across them unless you forget to close your email on your home or work computer. Don't worry about the "lack of privacy" everyone talks about in email programs. The average person in your life can't get in. As far as I know, it's only non-human programs that comb email looking for keywords to gain insight into your plans to blow up the world. The CIA doesn't care what kind of lubricant Dee and Ryo are using.
Or you could store your files on your hard drive under boring sounding names like "Industrial Comparisons" or "Mashed Potato Recipe" and then make sure that page one is something innocent and dull in case anyone flashes on it.
4. Speaking of boring, never underestimate the power of 'dull and boring' to make people go away and stop asking you questions. Everyone I know in my real life is unspeakably bored by my interest in manga and anime. They've pretty well all stopped asking me about it in case I start going on and on about it. Just because it's fascinating to US doesn't mean that it is to everyone. Pretty soon they'll stop asking you about your writing too, in case you hand them a giant dull manuscript and they get stuck (a) reading it and (b) having endless discussions with you about it. That said, any whiff of a yaoi lemon will draw intense interest toward your activities, and as we know and fear, it could well be negative interest.
5. Never under any circumstances give anyone in your real life one of your stories to read, no matter how proud you are of it. ( I'm talking Hentai, Yaoi and Shonen Ai; everything else is fine if you really feel you must) That goes even if the person is gay-friendly. First of all, is that person an expert? An executive in the publishing industry? Who cares if he or she likes it? They're either going to lie and say they liked it when they didn't, or they're going to suggest you change all kinds of things based on no more than their own personal bias. Get yourself an online beta who loves your work, and then post it online where the people who have a true interest in that kind of thing will find it. Even if your work is no good, SOMEBODY will like it and that will make you happy. If you give it to someone in your real life to read, you're courting exposure, and it isn't necessary. No one in my family has read anything I've written. I really don't need their approval in this particular area of my life. I'm not about to give them any ammunition for the next time they're mad at me!
Well, that's all I can come up with for now. If I think of any more tips, I'll be sure to post them.