But right now I have all the usual icky, noisy, disgusting symptoms that come along with a cold of this magnitude. This one is really a doozy. Apart from the fact that I'm just plain BORED with having to blow my goddamn nose every 47 seconds, and my eyes are burning and watering too much for me to properly focus on the computer screen, what's bothering me the most are the loud, explosive, JUICY sneezes. I am normally a very restrained sneezer. I hold back and only make a little noise that has been described by my admirers as 'cute'. I do not regard sneezes as a viable means of getting other people to pay solicitous attention to me, and I think spraying particles of mucous and spit all over one's immediate area is just plain self-indulgent. Nor do I view sneezing as an opportunity for creative self-expression, requiring maximum noise volume to reach the largest possible audience. But these matters are currently quite beyond my control. When my body is about to deliver itself of a thunderous sneeze, it's not that I don't receive any warning. There's quite a suspenseful build-up of tingling, prickling, and moisture gathering in the vicinity of my sinuses that cause my eyes to burn and run. Then the sneeze, completely against my will, commands my lungs to suddenly suck in air and the next thing I know an ear-splitting and raucous squawk that is anything but cute is issuing forth from me. It turns heads if it happens in public because it's really rather alarming. I sound exactly like a parrot that gets out one awful and agonized death cry before it is torn apart by a tiger. Mothers whisk their children away from me. No one wanted to sit next to me in Starbucks today, even though the chair beside me was one of the much-coveted cushy armchairs.
I'm going to stay home tomorrow and hope that no one wants anything of me. And if anyone is out there looking for another chapter of A New Day, there's one coming up in the next couple of days. Seriously. It's been beta'd by Blue and all I have to do is clean it up. It might even happen tomorrow.
Stay well and stay away from sick people! ( But don't stone them or anything)