Brit is stuck! Feedback wanted for the lemon I'm in the middle of

Okay, so I'm in the middle of writing a lemon. It's Chapter 22 of Slave to a Gladiator and it's the final chapter of the story. It's really slow going and and it's not flowing, probably because it's my last chapter, and as I mentioned in my last post, I seem to have a problem with loss of momentum when I'm approaching the finish line.

I'm stuck because I can't decide which sex-direction to take this lemon in. Here's the situation: Ryo has Dee chained to the bed. He can do whatever he wants to Dee! They've had one orgasm apiece while in the shower a short time ago (Dee's was only alluded to), and they've each got one left before they run out of steam.

So, dear pervy readers... would you like Ryo to screw Dee again, but slower this time? Would you like Ryo to ride Dee? Blowjobs? Sixty-nine? Rubbing against each other? Hand jobs? I can't run the whole gamut because the chapter would be too long, I've got about two thousand words to play with.

Tripple_p has already said she'd like Ryo to ride Dee, so that's one vote recorded. Let me know which sex act you'd like me to write about, and I'll do the one that gets the most votes. I'm going to start my homework in the meantime.

Thanks for reading!

46 comments — :

( 46 comments — Leave a comment )

lita_yuymaxwell

2010-01-24 07:53 pm (UTC)

so many choices! Hmm... I'd like to see Ryo ride Dee ;)

brit_columbia

2010-01-24 07:57 pm (UTC)

Thanks for weighing in! Okay, that's two for Ryo riding the Dee-machine.

(Anonymous)

2010-01-24 08:21 pm (UTC)

i wanna see ryo ride dee!!

2010-01-24 08:29 pm (UTC)

Okay, so we're three for Dee with Ryo on top. Thanks!

onempty

2010-01-24 09:26 pm (UTC)

I like the idea of Ryo riding Dee as well. *votes for that*

I felt really bad for Dee in the last chapter, so having Ryo ride him would make me happiest. :D

2010-01-25 12:20 am (UTC)

Well, Dee is going to be thrilled when he realizes that Ryo is going to ride him and he's not going to have to take it again so soon in his squeaky clean butt!

bubblegum_miley

2010-01-24 10:23 pm (UTC)

Id like the Ryo riding Dee too - so another vote!

2010-01-25 12:22 am (UTC)

Noted! Thanks for voting. It's starting to look like everyone wants the same thing.

anjichan

2010-01-24 10:27 pm (UTC)

Well my vote also goes to Ryo riding Dee! ^_~

2010-01-25 12:24 am (UTC)

Saddle up, Dee! Here comes your naked cowboy. No whips this time, though.

Thanks for voting anjichan!

2010-01-24 11:08 pm (UTC)

**Tripple_p grins smugly**

2010-01-25 12:28 am (UTC)

LOL! Well, the readers have spoken, and it seems to be unanimous. And it all started with you! I'll make sure they know who to thank.

(Deleted comment)

2010-01-25 01:48 am (UTC)

Which makes it even MORE unanimous! *Returns to writing the riding scene* Thanks, Erin!

jirel

2010-01-25 04:38 am (UTC)

Oh well, I guess I won't say anything then. :(

I was going to vote for Ryo to start out by sucking Dee's toe and licking the bottom of his feet. And then start working his way up from there but avoiding his "manhood" so that he drove him crazy.

2010-01-26 04:33 pm (UTC)

Having the hell teased out of him is one of the things that Dee is afraid of at the beginning of chapter 22, since Ryo has been known to do that before (Sweet Frustration). While I agree that the idea of having Ryo suck Dee's toes has a lot of sensual appeal, I don't have enough room (2000 words left) to include toe to head foreplay! But someone should do the toe sucking thing! I don't think I've ever encountered it in fanfics before. Maybe I'll do it myself in a future lemon. Thanks for voting!

bibbiesparks

2010-01-25 03:30 pm (UTC)

I think you should do sixty -nine ,So they both have a good time.

2010-01-26 04:36 pm (UTC)

Well, I considered that, but the partner on the bottom really needs to have his hands free, or teeth could become a problem. Since Dee's wrists are chained to the bed, Ryo would have to unchain him-- and Ryo doesn't want to unchain him! But thanks for giving me your feedback! It's all appreciated.

shelley6441

2010-01-25 04:40 pm (UTC)

Well, since Dee is not on top I vote for frottage.

2010-01-26 04:39 pm (UTC)

I know you love Dee on top, and I wondered what you'd have to say about this one. But I never expected you to come in for frottage! Just when you think you know a fellow perv...

How are you doing, BTW? I've been thinking about you lately!

gothiclolly

2010-01-25 05:31 pm (UTC)

I would love to read the scene where Ryo rides Dee as well xDDD~ *grin*

2010-01-26 04:41 pm (UTC)

Well, that seems to be the one that most people want, so that's the one I'm writing. Thanks!

2010-01-26 12:07 am (UTC)

I vote for Ryo riding Dee as well but I would like to see in a future story for Dee riding Ryo! ;P

2010-01-26 04:42 pm (UTC)

Great idea! Now I'm intrigued.

Hot!

2010-01-26 02:19 am (UTC)

I would love to see ryo ride Dee long and hard!

Re: Hot!

2010-01-26 04:43 pm (UTC)

Well, since most of the other readers agreed with you, that's exactly how it's going to be! Thanks for voting.

tvceaser

2010-01-26 01:42 pm (UTC)

I agree, Ryo riding Dee sounds lovely.

But for some future story (since it certainly wouldn't work for this one) I'd love, love, love to see Dee riding Ryo. There's certainly not enough of this in the FAKE fandom at all, and it's almost distressing!

2010-01-26 04:47 pm (UTC)

You're the second person to suggest that, and I've definitely decided to do it! But not, as you say, for this particular story. I had been thinking of putting a scene like that in Justice, A New Day's sequel, especially since one of the sub-themes there is that Ryo is starting to get passively-aggressively upset about always being the receptive partner while Dee's gorgeous butt remains conspicuously inviolate.

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