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Happy Birthday Fic for Peacewish!
This little story is for Peacewish because today is her birthday, at least according to LJ. I believe she started celebrating about a week ago, though. Peacewish, I'm sorry I couldn't work politics, transformers or whips in there (to name just a few of your known interests), but maybe next year! I hope you're having a wonderful day and that the weather is not daring to be too hot on your birthday.


By Brit Columbia

Fandom:  Fake
Pairing:  Dee/Ryo
Rating:  Mature. It's a citrus seduction, but more lime than lemon, mainly because I ran out of time!
Spoilers:  to Volume 7
Disclaimer:  These characters are the property of Sanami Matoh. I was not paid in any way for the creation of this story.
Summary: Dee and Ryo and some gift wrap and ribbons.
Author's notes: Dedicated to Peacewish on her birthday because she's all kinds of amazing on all kinds of levels. By the way, this story was written in a hurry and has not been beta-read by anyone, so if you spot any typos or word repetitions (my personal specialty), please let me know so I can fix them.


"See ya, Ryo!"  Bikky exited the apartment with a large, gift-wrapped box under his arm.

"Bye, Bikky! Have fun and give the birthday girl a hug from me." Ryo closed the door and returned to the kitchen where his son had spent the last half hour wrapping and re-wrapping Carol's birthday present.  There were scraps of decorative paper and tissue everywhere.  Dee stood amidst the wreckage, holding an empty scotch tape dispenser in each hand and looking disgusted.

"I think that brat used sixty or seventy feet of tape!" he exclaimed. "Un-fucking-believable."

Ryo smiled fondly and started to pick up the detritus. "It was his first time ever wrapping a present by himself. I'm sure you weren't an expert gift-wrapper your first time, either."

"I don't wrap gifts," retorted Dee. "That's what store staff are for."

Ryo picked up a spool of ribbon and started rolling the ribbon back onto it. "I would have done it for him, but for some reason, he wanted to wrap Carol's gift himself this time. I figured it was a good opportunity for him to learn. Did you see that great card his friend made for him?"

"No, he wouldn't show it to me. He probably wrote something sappy in it that he didn't want me to read."

"Dee, don't be mean."

"Who's being mean? I'd say exactly the same thing if the kid was still here, and you know he would just tell me to eat shit." Dee picked up a couple of lengths of ribbon and looked at them thoughtfully before taking his phone out of his pocket. "By the way, I got a couple of shots for your scrapbook." He held up his phone, which displayed a picture of Bikky cutting a length of pink floral gift wrap with an expression of utmost concentration on his face.

Ryo took the phone and quickly glanced through the pictures, a delighted expression on his face. "Thanks, Dee. That was very thoughtful of you."

Dee flashed Ryo a self-satisfied grin and shrugged with patently false modesty. "Ah, well, you know. World-class boyfriend here."

Ryo snorted and glanced at him, his eyes twinkling with affection. "On Planet Ego, maybe."

"You just don't appreciate what you've got, babe. World-class boyfriends do nice things like taking photos of brats, whenever they're not delivering mind-blowing orgasms to the one they love best."

"Or leaving globs of toothpaste on the bathroom faucet," Ryo added quickly, wanting to get Dee's mind off orgasms. Dee was right that Bikky had managed to make a hell of a mess, and he wanted to get it cleaned up before his partner got got any ideas that would slow him down.

"That wasn't me! That was that pint-sized wild animal who lives with you, and you know it."

Ryo rolled his eyes. "Sure, Dee. Whatever you say."

Dee took his phone back and said, "Hey, sit down for a moment next to that pile of tissue paper and ribbon. Let me get a picture of you, too. It'll round out the scrapbook run."

"Okay." Ryo sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and picked up Bikky's discarded scissors. "How's this?"

"Fine. Well... Nope, I think we need to turn the chair a little."

"Which way?" Ryo started to get up, but Dee was already there.

"No, no, stay like that," he said. "I'm just gonna nudge your chair sideways a little."

Ryo felt Dee go behind his chair, and rock it a little. "Dee, you're going to scratch the linoleum," he warned. "Let me stand-- hey!" There was a sense of light pressure against his shin, and suddenly he realized that Dee had somehow bound his right ankle to the chair leg. He swore and tried to rise, but Dee's hands on his shoulders from behind pushed him back down onto his chair. He heard the sound of snickering, and his brows drew together. "Dee, quit horsing around. I am NOT finding this the slightest bit funny."

"No? How about now?"

The pressure of the hands on Ryo's shoulders disappeared, but before he could move, a loop of beige satin ribbon had dropped down on him from above and was pulled tightly across his chest and the crook of his arms. He could hear Dee humming softly to himself, followed by more snickering, as he did something to tie the ends of the ribbon to the back of the chair.

When Dee strolled around from behind the chair and took up a triumphant position in front of it, Ryo turned his head to the side and wouldn't look at him.

"Well, look at you, all trussed up and nowhere to go..."

The gloating note in Dee's voice brought the blood rushing to Ryo's face. He wasn't going to give Dee the satisfaction of even struggling in his bonds. He reasoned that if he sat quietly and calmly and didn't react to anything Dee said or did, then Dee would soon grow tired of this silly game.

A clicking sound startled him and involuntarily he glanced at Dee. The bastard was taking pictures!

"Not gonna smile for me, sweetheart?"

Ryo set his lips in a hard line and doggedly refused to look back in Dee's direction.

"Okay, side view now." There was another click. Ryo waited patiently for Dee to come closer so he could kick him. He still had one leg free, after all. Unfortunately, Dee seemed to be just as aware of that as Ryo was, because once again he walked behind the chair.

Ryo felt one of Dee's hands rest on his shoulder, and then the other one hove into view in front of him holding the phone. Instinctively he looked at it. Naturally, it clicked. He gritted his teeth. It clicked again. When he turned his head away, the phone withdrew to some point behind him and then he heard Dee chuckling.

"Ryo, Ryo, Ryo. You are so damn adorable. Look at that face. Even when you're in a snit, you're gorgeous."

"I am not in a snit," Ryo insisted, despite his earlier decision to ignore Dee. "I'm just waiting patiently for you to stop being such a child and let me go." He flexed his arms experimentally, noting that he had a fair range of movement for his forearms, but couldn't raise them very high before the ribbon started cutting off his circulation.

"You are so," said Dee smugly. "I got the snit-evidence right here."

"Dee, you're going to delete those photos if you know what's good for you." Ryo tried to make his voice sound firm and confident.

"The hell I am. I'm gonna treasure this grumpy-face expression of yours forever. Every time I need a little pick-me-up at work, this'll make me smile."

Ryo could tell by Dee's voice that he was smiling. "You won't be thinking this is so funny when I take photos of you asleep with your mouth open."

"I happen to look damn hot with my mouth open," countered Dee, not all perturbed.

This left Ryo feeling disappointed. He himself would hate to have pictures taken of him with his mouth open.
"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it, since your mouth is open all the time, either talking, eating, or snoring," he grumbled.

Dee's lips pressed a sensual kiss down on the side of Ryo's neck. Ryo jerked a little in his chair. It felt like a low-voltage electric shock had just passed through his body. When Dee did it again and added a gentle scrape of teeth, Ryo's nipples stiffened inside his shirt. He closed his lips tightly together so that he wouldn't start making embarrassing noises. Dee, damn him, must have somehow figured it out, though, because one of his hands slid around Ryo's immobilized shoulder and onto his chest, where it began fondling those two stiff little peaks.

"You forgot something." Dee's lips moved on Ryo's sensitive skin as he spoke, his voice soft and husky. When Ryo didn't rise to the bait, Dee continued. "Besides talking, eating, and snoring, what else do I do with my mouth open? Hm?"

Ryo didn't reply but his heart started beating faster right at that moment, right under Dee's hand. He both heard and felt Dee growl softly against his neck, and for the first time, he struggled in his restraints.

Dee's other hand came around Ryo's neck from behind and tilted up his chin, one strong thumb caressing his jaw. He leaned in, and Ryo shivered when Dee's lips found his. He couldn't help responding. There was no question about it, no earthly possibility of not doing so. It was perfect, their mouths fit together so perfectly in a sweet, sliding press of lips and tongues that alternately demanded and yielded. He was excited by being kissed from behind like this, and even the fact that he was tied to a chair was suddenly transformed from annoying and frustrating to rather titillating. His body moved, testing the strength of the ribbon that bound his chest and whatever it was that was keeping his ankle tied to the chair leg. He could feel his penis starting to swell inside his chinos.

When Dee drew back and looked down at him, Ryo met his eyes boldly for a moment before his gaze flickered back to Dee's mouth. He wanted to be kissed again. He also wanted Dee to do what he had been hinting he was going to do with his mouth. Just thinking about it made his cock get harder. He ran the tip of his tongue over the slightly swollen tissues of his lips.

There was another click. "Smile, sexy!" said Dee, his phone back in his hand.

"Dee!" Ryo's scowl was back.

Dee smirked at him knowingly. "Still not gonna smile for me, huh? Well, you know what?"  When Ryo didn't obligingly say "What" in response, Dee reached down the front of Ryo's body and passed his hand over Ryo's erection with the lightest of touches. "You're gonna moan for me in just a couple of minutes. You're gonna come for me not so many minutes after that." He ran his fingertips up and down the hard length still trapped in Ryo's pants, and this time Ryo did emit a soft cry, exactly as Dee had predicted. Dee lowered his head so that his lips stopped just short of Ryo's quivering mouth. "Whaddaya think about that, huh?"

Ryo strained upward to flick his tongue over Dee's tempting lower lip. "I think... I think maybe I've got a world-class boyfriend," he whispered.

Dee grinned proudly and unsnapped the button above Ryo's zipper. "'Bout time you admitted it, baby."

"But no pictures, Dee, okay?"

"I'll think about it." Dee dropped to his knees between Ryo's spread thighs.

"Dee, I'm serious, dammit!"

"Shh, love. Don't distract a man when he's unwrapping his present."


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No, YOU are amazing, madame. This was unbelievably cute and sexy - in other words, all that is FAKE and then some. It had some cuteness with Bikky and Carol, and then it had more cuteness with Dee and Ryo, and then things got a whole lot more than cute. Ryo, Ryo. How do you survive the streets of New York. You know Dee, you know him better than anyone, how do you keep falling for these traps of his? And Dee, how is it that you can tie a man up in ribbon that easily? It's a little disturbing.

I should have waited to review this until tomorrow when I wasn't so bone tired, I'd do a better job of this. But it was just so wonderfully cute and thoughtful that I couldn't make myself do it. The Titanic kiss was amazing, and I loved the last line. Perfect wrap-up, no pun intended, to the setting. Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome. It was my very great pleasure. Bikky gave Carol a hand-made card, but of course he didn't make it himself. He tried, but it looked crappy so he got some help from a creative friend.

My theory is that Ryo was half expecting Dee to try something once Bikky was out the door, but he didn't know how or when Dee would strike. Dee likes to hunt and Ryo likes to be hunted. Well, most of the time. Sometimes, Ryo would like to hunt. Dee will have to get better at sensing those moods and then he'll have to act like prey, which will be quite the challenge for him, alpha seme that he is!

I'm so glad you liked the story. I hope you had an awesome birthday.

(Deleted comment)
Thank you, Katie! You're right that Ryo lives with two wild animals, I've always thought of Dee as a big, beautiful panther. I'm not sure what Bikky is. Maybe a lion cub.

I'm really glad you liked this story. Thanks for commenting!

I couldn't get onto LJ all day at work yesterday, and last night when I got home I could finally log on but couldn't leave any comments. Today's been pretty wonky, too. I don't know if this reply will manage to get posted, but here goes....

Oh he's certainly a lion cub- just look at that bushy mane of hair.

Yes, and when he grows up, he'll be the king of the concrete jungle! At least until he marries Carol and they move to the 'burbs to have kids.

So glad the rest of your reader get to enjoy reading the birthday fic. It's fun to see the little snippets of their lives. I always enjoy reading the author's view of Ryo & Dee doing ordinary things.

I like the little snippets of everyday life too, as long as they're funny. Humor is really important to me. Thanks for commenting!

Aw, it's a shame you didn't have the time to get to the juicy details, but it was still lovely.

Thanks! Just so you know, I've tossed in a couple of juicy details in my next post, which is fan art that tripple_p kindly made me for this story. I hope you'll go and check out the illustration.

Oh, and what was the fanart? (hehe, you think I didn't see that there? I SAW THAT THERE 8D <3

Thank you email inbox)

Did you see it? I posted it from photobucket on Wednesday night, but encountered problems and had to delete it as soon as LJ allowed me to. I decided not to attempt it again until LJ had settled down. I think it has, so in about five minutes, I'm going to post the picture!

Well, I only saw the email notification about a post and*brain-drooling-out-my-ears*

Um, yeah, ok, i'll wait til you repost then.

:D I love it! Also, don't worry about trying to get justice out asap... we all can wait! You not stressing so much you collapse is the important thing here!

On a side note... I'm horrible at wrapping presents. I understand the theory and I'm pretty good at folding the paper right, but as soon as tape is added to the equation it all falls apart into a huge sticky mess. :P I usually take the easy way out and get my sister to do it for me, but now that she is moving out, the joke is that I'll mail them to her to be wrapped and she'll bring them back with her. :D I'm tempted to actually do it.

<3 Neengy-Dot!

Thank you Neengy, both for loving the story and for being so understanding about my unsustainable pace. I tell ya, I felt ready to collapse yesterday. It was awful. But somehow I got my second wind late in the afternoon, and I woke up this morning feeling almost rested, so I'm much more cheerful today.

I'm also horrible at wrapping presents! That's why I stock up on gift bags and tissue paper from the dollar store.

He, I can't believe I've never rewieved this oneshot, even though I've already read it so often. I love it :3
I'm very bad at wrapping gifts as well, but every time I do it, I have to think of this story and that makes me smile, haha :D And at least I'm better at wrapping gifts than Bikky. (As if that was much of a challenge ^^)
Anyway, I love this story, even if you ran out of time and it's more lime than lemon - but a very cute, witty and sexy lime, so I won't complain ;)

Edited at 2013-05-16 02:45 pm (UTC)

Well, thanks so much for loving it and reviewing it! I sort of started off in a lemony direction in the next post with the fan-art, but then it never really went anywhere. However, it wouldn't have been hard to guess what happened next!

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